It’s been seven years since rom-com queen Kate Hudson left tampons in Matthew McConaughey’s apartment in “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”. As a young teen, you watched Andie give Ben a love fern, drag him to a Celine Dion concert and you swore you’d never make the same mistakes. Now that you can fit into Andie’s stilettos, you know not to make obvious mistakes from the movie like giving your date a tiny dog. But Andie lived in a world without texts, Twitter and Facebook so we’ll pick up where she left off. It is far too easy to lose a guy if you aren’t careful, but Her Campus is here to help you navigate the rocky waters of the dating pool with our list of the Top 6 Dating Don’ts.
Announcing Your Love to the World
Slow down girlfriend — don’t change that relationship status on Facebook quite yet. If you write mushy things on his wall or change your status to “In a Relationship” too soon, he might try to back out. Putting yourself out there online nowadays means that his friends, your friends and even his grandma might see it before he’s had the chance to even figure out if he wants to go on a second date. Elizabeth Lilly, a UNC-Chapel Hill 2010 graduate, says she had a Facebook friend whose lovey-dovey updates were filling up her News Feed. “She kept updating her status with over-the-top statements like ‘I found true love’ and ‘I love him.’ It was probably scaring her new boyfriend to death, let alone all his friends,” Lilly says. Needless to say, Lilly said her friend did not have a boyfriend for long. Keep it simple and private with text messages or Facebook messages until you’re sure he’s a keeper.
Texting too much
You will get carpal tunnel and a broken heart if you send him texts all day and all night. Rising sophomore Chris Molina, Old Dominion University, says: “I really don’t like when a girl is controlling and sends me a play-by-play of her whole day.”If you try to communicate with a guy every spare moment of your life, he may think you don’t have one. Patrick Williams, a rising junior at UMass Amherst, says you should never text him every night to hang out. You don’t want a boy thinking that you are too desperate and can’t make plans of your own. Instead put the BlackBerry down and enjoy a night out with your girls.
Using Pet Names
Honey, sweetie and lover are all perfectly good pet names when used sparingly and in private. But guys can groan at pet names even when their long-time girlfriends use them. Don’t even think about calling him “baby” right away. Nicknames signify closeness and intimacy — something you probably don’t have yet after going to dinner and the movies once. Daniel Gonzalez, a rising senior at Virginia Tech, says “Nicknames are not good. Names that should be animals must stay as animals.” Until you two are tight, save terms of endearment for your best friends and your puppy.
The Ex Factor
This one should be obvious. But too often I have had my guy friends at UNC-Chapel Hill tell me that their date briefly mentioned an ex on a first date or second date. The purpose of the date should be to get to know the other person, not their baggage. You would probably feel threatened if your date mentioned how green hisex’s eyes were so don’t make this mistake. Even if you are trashing your ex, don’t do it! You don’t want your date to think he’ll have to watch out for slashed car tires if your relationship goes sour. There should be plenty of things for you two to talk about so pick a different topic and chat away.
Meet the Parents
There’s a reason Ben Stiller made a funny movie about this situation: it’s awkward no matter your age. Dave Howard, a rising sophomore at East Carolina University, says he hates to meet a girl’s parents when he’s barely gotten to know her. Meeting the parents is a pretty big step and he may think you’re more serious about dating or a relationship than he is. Instead of inviting him along when your parents make a campus visit, make plans to see him right after. Wait until you’re serious to make the introduction—that way you can prepare your boy to be quizzed by the family and he won’t freak out.
Getting Serious Too Fast
Before you start planning out the next few years of your relationship with your dream date, take two steps back. Dave from ECU says talking about the distant future or about getting married is a sure way to scare him off. If you’ve just met a guy, he’s probably thinking about where he’ll take you for dinner, not where you’ll get married. It’s tempting to daydream about the future with a guy you really like, but make sure it stays a daydream for now. Most guys just don’t think about the long term until they’ve really fallen for a girl so wait it out and with luck he’ll feel the same later.
Sources
Daniel Gonzalez, Virginia Tech, rising senior
Dave Howard, East Carolina University, rising sophomore
Chris Molina, Old Dominion University, rising sophomore
Elizabeth Lilly, University of North Carolina 2010 graduate
Patrick Williams, UMass Amherst, rising junior