As if flirting werenât already hard enough, perfecting the art of texting guys could be an Olympic sport! Finding the balance between overbearing and overly casual can be difficult. Not to mention, boys basically speak their own language, so trying to decipher what the heck theyâre saying via text is an uphill battle. But there are a few tricks of the trade that make texting guys a little easier. Here are some tips you should follow to hold your own on your phone!
1. Be confident
Whoever said never text a guy first was so wrong. Sure, you shouldnât have to always start the conversation, but putting yourself out there and getting things started shows confidence.
It can be hard to find a good conversation starter, but the âwhatâs up?â line has literally zero pizzazz. Being bold can be really attractive to guys, and it sets you apart by making you memorable. Whatever your flirting style is, itâs important to step up to the plate and do your best to hit a home run in texting.
âSome fun ways to flirt include, âCanât stop thinking about last night,â or, âI think Iâm blushing today.â This will show him that youâre attracted to him, and heâll feel flattered,â says Julie Spira, dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert.Â
You are awesome, and you have no reason to be nervous about texting a guy. Plus, you miss a hundred percent of the shots you donât take, right? Be confident in yourself and itâll come across in your texts, making him want you even more.
2. Play it cool
Itâs exciting if youâre hitting it off with your crush, but being overly eager is sometimes a red flag for guys. Donât overwhelm him with novels about your day when he asks how youâre doing. And definitely donât bombard him with texts if heâs not responding. Double-texting is every guyâs worst nightmare, and you donât want to come off as desperate or needy, because thatâs so not you!
However, please donât get caught up in trying to play some sort of waiting game to reel him in.
âAs far as rules on when to return a text, donât sit and bite your fingers counting the hours to pretend youâre not available,â Spira says. âIf you hear from him and have your phone handy, respond in a reasonable time. This means within a few minutes to one hour. A study from online dating sites ChristianMingle.com and JDate showed that a reasonable response time is one hour or one to three hours. Anything after that sends a message that youâre really not that interested.â
Just be calm, cool and collected, and heâll be sure to want more.
3. Less is more
An occasional smiley face is one thing, but making a picture story out of emojis is just a little bit excessive. As a rule of thumb, if you think youâre overdoing it, you probably are. Boys arenât usually as expressive as girls, and, âOMG cool!!!!!!â may seem like enthusiasm to you, but can come off as crazy to guys. Just keep it casual and use emoticons sparingly.
âWhen it comes to texting and flirting, I always believe that less is more,â Spira says. âIf you already have a texting relationship, sending a sweet text saying, âHope youâre having a great dayâ or, âthinking of youâ will cheer him up while heâs at work. The reason I like to include the word âgreatâ is that most guys have a positive reaction to that word. Theyâd like to think youâd have a great time with him and that youâre a happy person.â
You can always feel out his texting style and go off of that. But at least for starting things off, hold off on the dancing girl and hair-flip emojis every other text. Texting is an art form, and much like you donât want to splatter-paint all over the Mona Lisa, itâs not necessary to riddle your conversation with emojis and explanation points.
But of course, when you feel that calling for a specific emoji, itâs okay to fall to temptation. They are tempting and basically the perfect form of expressing your thoughts and feelings. Just try to avoid emoticon overdose.
4. Let him do the texting
Flirting through texts doesnât have to be some big puzzle. The best way to keep a conversation going is by actually having things to talk about. Ask him simple questions that will make him want to talk. Boys are just like us â they love talking about themselves. It gives you a chance to know him and breaks the ice by basically forcing him to text you back. Giving him open-ended questions keeps the convo flowing, and heâll enjoy answering them.
However, âremember, guys donât multitask typically the way that women do, so donât get upset about quick text messages,â Spira says. âIf you want to have a conversation, itâs best to pick up the phone.â
Still, donât fall prey to fangirling over him and not getting a word in edgewise. He should be asking questions about you, too!
5. Know when to end it
It can be hard trying to wrap up a conversation, but the first step is being able to realize when the convo is fizzling out. If heâs starting to send one-word answers or is taking way too long to text back, then itâs probably time to call it quits. Make a graceful exit with a little bit more than just a. âsee you laterâ or, âtalk to you soonâ text that still somehow leaves him wanting more. Try to conclude it with the possibility of making future plans.
âWho knows? It might turn into a date that night,â Spira says.
Leave it open for other conversations. Tell him why you have to go or that youâre excited to see him again. And if he responds back, let him have the last word and leave him wanting more.
6. Donât overanalyze it
There is nothing worse than the âkâ kiss of death. Itâs like a punch in the gut, and our world comes spiraling down around us. But sometimes we overreact to what in reality was probably a quick text while he was distracted by something else or about to head into the gym. And we know what itâs like to stare at your phone waiting for a response. Why didnât he text you back? Does he not like you? Is something wrong?
Maybe he just forgot to answer. Maybe he lost his phone. And before you know it, youâve convinced yourself he was kidnapped by a gang and his phone is at the bottom of a lake. Chances are heâs busy or he forgot to text you back.
âRemember that guys often will respond to a text with a one-word or two-word answer. These may include, âok,â âgreatâ or âhang on,ââ Spira says. âGuys donât really want to see a novel on their mobile phones, so keep it brief to keep him interested. Long-winded text messages appear like heavy drama to a guy, so donât think heâs not interested if you suggest a place to meet and provide the address and he responds with, âtoo farâ or, âsounds good.ââ
And donât torture yourself reading into every text he sends. Texts can be hard to decipher, and you canât hear his tone, which can really stink. But youâre gonna drive yourself crazy overanalyzing the conversation. Just let it happen!
7. Be yourself
When it comes down to it, even though youâre letting your thumbs do the talking, you should still be acting like yourself. Thereâs no point in playing games because you canât base your relationship with someone off some weird rules someone once made up. This really isnât rocket science; itâs just the 21st centuryâs version of flirting.
Donât hide behind your phone and pretend to be someone else. If he doesnât like you for you, heâs really not worth your time anyway. No use stressing yourself out trying to play mind games! You should be basically talking to him just like you would in person, and everything will fall into place.
Â
Whether youâre texting your lifelong crush or that hottie from class for homework help, we wish you the best of luck in your endeavors! If you follow these simple guidelines, you should have no issues texting guys. Be yourself, be cool and be confident, and youâll be a flirtexting pro!