Jess and Katie to the Rescue! You can mess it up; we can work it out.

Lifeguard Barbie saves the day by performing mouth-to-mouth in style. We have other, less intimate methods.

Shit happens.

In fact, the likelihood of shit happening often increases with direct proportion to your proximity to a boy you like. We’d like to protect you from clumsiness, cruelty and catastrophe but, just as a coed will locate a keg in a crowded room, tragedy will inevitably find you.

What we can do is provide you with virtually fail-proof techniques for emerging from even the stickiest of situations relatively unscathed. See our step-by-step solutions to ten common disasters as demonstrated by our favorite plastic and part-less models, Barbie and Ken.

It’s easy to mess up your text messages when you have hearts instead of letters and numbers on your keypad.

You text him something you meant to text your friend about him.

1. Follow it up with another text as if you still have not realized your error. This is especially crucial if your first text was kind of mean. This follow up text should say something like, “But I still like him so much/we had the best time last night/I can’t wait to see him again/omg, he’s so cute!!!!/etc.”
2. Text him again and say, “Oh did I send that to you? SO embarrassing, I meant to send it to my sister.” Sisters are safe; otherwise he’ll think you intended to spread the word to your entire sorority listserv. If you do not have a sister, name a best friend that he knows, and if he doesn’t know, say “my best friend [name].”
3. Don’t do it again. Sloppy texting is unacceptable.

Turns out you got with three of his friends, each at a different decade-themed party.

You realize you’ve already hooked up with one of his friends.

1. When introduced to this friend, just say, “Oh, we’ve met.” Pretending you haven’t met is stupid.
2. While you shouldn’t deny your history, play down the previous encounter as much as possible. You don’t have to report on his terrible kissing skills (remember, they’re friends), but the less you talk about it, the more it will look like a non-issue.
3. If your boy won’t leave it alone, suggest that if he can’t think of anything better to do with his mouth while you’re around besides talk about some other guy, you can just leave. That ought to shut up him really fast.

If you were ugly-ponytail-and-outfit Barbie getting with Rastifarian-shirt-and-bad-hair Ken, you wouldn’t want anyone to see you, either.

You get walked in on while hooking up.

1. Don’t pretend you weren’t hooking up. “We were just watching a movie.” Um, with what, your toes?
2. Make sure you’re decent, then acknowledge your intruder with a polite yet loaded question: “Did you need something?”
3. Hopefully this person will reply with, “No, never mind!” and leave you be. Chances are he or she is just as humiliated as you are.

“Of course I can walk in these!”

You stumble like a drunken fool in your four-inch heels.

1. This accident is not unlike a plane crash: valuable cargo is tumbling to the ground from a very high altitude. Proceed with caution.
2. Following airline protocol, do not panic. Rather, seek the assistance of others. There’s only one thing more embarrassing than clinging to your friends for support, and that’s sitting on the ground like an uncoordinated mess.
3. After you’ve made sure you haven’t suffered any wardrobe malfunctions, keep calm and carry on. Also, consider retiring the shoes.

Loves it.

You tell him “I love you!”… by accident.

Note: You might be thinking, “Who does that?” But really, we’re a very enthusiastic people. To the Internet repair guy who fixes the wireless: “You’re a lifesaver! I love you!” To the waiter who brings you food when you’re famished: “This is amazing; I love you!” To the guy you’re only kind of seeing whom you like-like but don’t love: “You found my iPod? I love y—.” Oh, crap.

1. Laugh it off. Generally speaking, we think real drugs are the best medicine. In this case, however, laughter will suffice.
2. Whatever you do, don’t say the word “love” again that day. Even if it means laying off Love Actually references for 24 hours.
3. Alternatively, you may also try saying “love” as many times as humanly possible to diffuse the meaning and prove you use the term casually. Risky but, when done correctly, effective. Your call.

This is what his face will look like if you kiss his cheek by mistake.