Spoilers ahead for the movie “Alex Strangelove.”
“If you had to pick one, which one would you pick?” “So would you say you’re 50/50, or more 70/30 with liking one over the other?” “I’m so jealous, you have so many more options!” These are just some of the many annoying comments every bi person has heard throughout their out-of-the-closet life. Today is Bi Visibility Day, the one day of the year that bi people exist! The other days of the year, we simply disintegrate into nothingness.
Obviously, the two aforementioned sentences are complete jokes, but honestly, sometimes it really does seem like bi people just don’t exist to others, especially in the media. My favorite example of bi-erasure in the media is the movie, “Alex Strangelove.” The movie revolves around a high school senior, Alex, who plans on losing his virginity to his girlfriend, Claire, but their plans become complicated when Alex meets Elliott, an openly gay, charismatic, recent high school graduate who makes Alex question his sexuality. The two begin hanging out, and Alex soon realizes that his feelings for Elliott are more than platonic. In the movie, there is a scene following Alex’s blossoming friendship with Elliott where Alex is trying to decide between two boxes of cereal to eat for breakfast, and he begins to see the boxes as “Gay Flakes” and “Hetero’s.” Alex then puts a third cereal in the mix, and sees “Bi-Crunchies,” which causes Alex to realize, “I’m bi.”
The end!
Just kidding.
The movie continues, and in the end, Alex and Claire break up and he comes out as gay. Claire even surprises Alex at prom by inviting Elliott! Alex has the chance to live out every bi high schooler’s dream, but the writers had the nerve to shatter that story. Obviously, it is possible and valid for a gay person to come out as bi, and then realize they are actually gay, but it is also possible and valid to come out as bi and be bi. The problem with the movie is not that Alex is gay, but that for most of the movie, the evidence points toward Alex being bi. I recognized and related to his experience while watching the movie, and it was simply heartbreaking to see one more example of bi-erasure in the media when I thought I finally had a mainstream movie character to relate to.
Courtesy of Giphy
Still, even if Alex did come out as bi and wanted to continue his relationship with Claire, it was possible she could have hit him with, “I’m not homophobic, but I could never date a bi person.” You’re right, you aren’t homophobic. You’re biphobic! Hearing someone say this is equivalent to hearing nails on a chalkboard. Let’s unpack it. If the only thing holding you back from being interested in someone is the fact that they’ve dated or hooked up with another gender, please check yourself. Quite honestly, I’ve met straight girls who have kissed more girls than I have because they were drunk, so there really is no other way to describe this excuse than pure ignorance and biphobia.
Now, let’s talk about bi-erasure within the LGBTQ+ community. What do y’all think that “B” stands for? Boats? Bees? It’s bisexual, dim-wits. Picture this: you’re a bi woman who happens to be in a relationship with a man, and you are so excited to take him to a pride parade with you! You’re at the parade with him, proudly waving the bi flag, just to be given dirty looks by fellow members of the community who think being bi “isn’t real” and you’re “actually just straight.” How can we expect to be accepted by society if we marginalize others within our own community? Here’s the bottom line: Sexuality is fluid. People are allowed to be attracted to whoever they want and they don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Listen, figuring out you’re bi is not an easy journey to take. In a society so stuck on having to choose just one thing, how can it be? However, with that being said, being bi is the best. Stop asking me to pick, because guess what? I don’t have to. That’s the whole point. Happy Bi Visibility Day to my fellow bi hotties, both in the closet and out of it. Go out, live your life, and be bi.
Courtesy of Giphy