Once upon a time, we received our acceptance letters to Notre Dame, and at the end of the summer, excited to go to “a whole new world,” we headed off to start our collegiate fairytales at our golden domed kingdom. However, after those unglamorous 8:20s, the occassional rough night, and a few heart breaking exams, our fairytales start to look a little less enchanted.
Because sometimes college isn’t a fairytale…
1. If you’re scurrying out of a party at midnight, it’s not because a fairy godmother told you to do so. A rector did.
2. If you find it’s just you and seven men in a room, go home. You got to the dorm party too early.
3. If your food and silverware is dancing and singing around you, you took your drunk dining hall too far.
4. If you’re talking to a bunch of rodents hoping for help on you going-out outfit, look elsewhere. The squirrels at ND will be no help.
5. If you become a “sleeping beauty” during class, you don’t get to blame it on pricking your finger on a cursed spindle. The all-nighter you pulled to finish that paper is just catching up to you.
6. If you get creative with your look and show up to the party wearing a sheet and that fresh-out-of-the-sea look, your boho look is too similar to hobo. Reevaluate your outfit.
7. If you have to convince your friends he’s not such a beast, maybe you should listen to them. No magic spell will transform that boy.
8. If you lose a shoe after a night out, you won’t be getting a prince to return it to you. You’ll just get your friends telling you to stay away from heels at Feve next time.
9. If you’re tricked into taking a “poison apple” from a stranger at a party, a prince won’t wake you up. An ambulance will.
10. If you can’t talk to boys, you can’t use selling your voice to a sea witch as an excuse. You’re just a little awkward.
But despite our Disney disillusions, we’re still believers in our collegiate happy endings. We fight our dragons, win our battles, and make our own magic. Though it isn’t always picture perfect, we’re still on our ways to happily ever after!
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