There seems to be an abundance of articles lately, both on Her Campus and elsewhere, informing girls what they absolutely need to wear lest they be labeled unfashionable. As a male, I’m not going to try my hand at one of those articles. I will, however, provide a guy’s perspective on what you really could be doing without.
1. Rompers
There’s no way these are convenient. Your shorts are attached to your shirt. It usually ends up looking like you are wearing clothes designed for a small child. On top of that, the fabric above the waist tends to bunch over the weird belt part making an artificial muffin top. Even if you still think they look good, there is no way it makes using the restroom a breeze. Just do yourself a favor and buy separate shorts and shirts—trust me on this one.
So much pattern!
2. Ugg boots
I’m being told these are finally out of style. It’s about time. If you still own a pair of Uggs, you don’t need to tell me why. I have felt them and I understand that the pseudo baby bunny fur inside makes it feel like you’re walking on clouds all day. Unfortunately, they are just about the most stupid looking footwear ever invented, and they cost about as much as three normal pairs of shoes. Feel free to wear them around your house or even to class if you want. Just don’t expect to wear them out to the bar and have me believe you’re being fashionable. Real boots aren’t that uncomfortable, just wear those instead.
No, folding the tops down does not make it better.
3. Expensive handbags
It’s a bag. They hold things, nothing special. Accessories are important to an outfit, but there is absolutely no way that you should be spending hundreds of dollars on a handbag as a broke college student. I would love to have a Rolex, even though it tells time just as well as a $20 watch, but I don’t buy one because that would be fiscally irresponsible. Even if you got your $700 handbag as a present, think of how much other stuff you could have asked for instead. No guy at the bar cares about whether or not your handbag is designer either. Trust us—that’s the last thing we are looking at.
Michael Kors bags hold things 200% better than standard bags.
4. Pants with writing on the butt
Ok, I do actually like these on girls. It gives me an excuse to look at your butts. Just don’t get mad at me for looking if you’re the one who decided that was the best place to display the name of your favorite vacation spot. I’m really only putting this one on my list because I think it’s unfair this is not yet acceptable as guys fashion. I have a lot of good ideas for messages I could be displaying on my butt.
Thank God I now know where you went on vacation.
5. Sunglasses that hide your entire face
You already have the advantage of being able to use makeup to make yourself look prettier. If you still have a reason to hide your entire face, then I don’t trust you. Is this some sort of fashion statement? I don’t understand this trend one bit. I will concede that after a few beers I thought I could pull them off too, as evidenced below.