We’ve all heard time and time again about how the spark in relationships fade, you’ll stop trying to impress and wow one another. This is where you’re going to find out if the relationship is as happy as you thought. This is the stage that my ‘Adult Role’ class in high school called “Storming.” They called it storming because there’s a very high chance of rain in the form of tears and thunder, but hopefully there will also be the cliché rainbow at the end.
Let’s say that your significant other isn’t the type to easily forgive and forget…heck maybe you’re not either. This article is meant to be advice for individuals in relationships who are eager to fix problems as they appear, because let’s be honest here, they will. Trust me. Even the happiest of couples fight about serious and trivial matters. Don’t let an out of control screaming match ruin what could have been a very beautiful relationship.
So, you’ve made it this far in the article and I hope I don’t disappoint you, because I unfortunately do not have a step by step “how to” guide on how to make your S.O. apologize, or forgive you. What I can offer are some of the best “argument-tactics” I’ve ever known. I hope that you read on and that some of these ideas resonate with you. You can choose to do exactly what these women recommend, or interpret it into your own method of conflict resolution.
Let’s start with something small.
During a heated argument about you leaving your nasty ball of hair in the shower, or your S.O. hogging the remote, or maybe even the way he or she chews their food (and you’ve both lost your minds over these irritating things that you each do) you call your S.O. out, and it’s now WWIII. Hold hands. Hold hands while you argue over rather minor but seemingly HUGE issues. Remind yourself that you do care for this person. Holding hands is one of the easiest ways to show affection. Plus if your hands are occupied, gestures are no longer a thing and exaggeration is no longer made physical as you throw your arms about. I don’t care if you want to stay calm or you want to blow up and actually yell at one another, I just care that you hold hands while doing so. It will help diffuse the entire situation.
Now, let’s discuss more serious matters. You’ve all read the articles telling you that name-calling, blame throwing, and bringing up past arguments is the worst way to argue – seriously detrimental to relationships. But how can you be sure the argument is over? I once had a girl tell me that every time she has fought with her boyfriend, at the end they agree to be friends. A simple “Can we be friends?” signifies a mutual acceptance of the fight being over and done with – for good. This melted my heart. You should be friends with your S,O,, best friends. So, ask them when the conversation is getting too aggressive and personal; when you want to know if the relationship is going to be salvaged. Ask them, so that you both know for certain that this is still a caring relationship.
For this to work, you have to be 100 percent honest. Because if you don’t say yes and mean it, it may be time for a break.
Don’t be discouraged collegiettes, every relationship has ups and downs. Just try to remember: you really care about who you’re fighting with, or you wouldn’t be fighting!
