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Stages of Finals as Narrated by Kermit the Frog

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UVA chapter.

1.     Unawareness/Happiness

You are generally content. Life is going on and you are innocently doing average in college.

2.     When exams first hit you out of NOWHERE I’m sorry OMG where did you come from YOU ARE LITERALLY IN A WEEK WHAT pls don’t hurt me

3.     The freak out #1

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4.     Disbelief

How could I have let this happen? I schedule all my classes on Apple Calendar and even bought a planner the 2nd month of school. How is this possible? No way.

5.     Time to get on my #grind

Alright whatever let’s do this got a B+ in sophomore year AP Euro I’m invincible.

6.     Game time

It’s 9:30am. The only thing between you and an A is bcdefghijklmnopqrst. You roll up to class ready to take the W straight STUNTIN. You’ve been studying so hard there’s literally nothing that could go wrong. Clear eyes full hearts go hoos.

7.     So far so good!

First page of the test. Wow you’re actually killing it. Just gliding through this little old thing here. Did my professor even try? Wow this is embarrassing for them I’m so smart. Nothing could go wrong. I’m gonna call my mom after this and remind her just how smart I am and she will love me and tell me how great I am like I don’t already know

8.     The first bump in the road

“Calculate and explain the derivative of the minimal quantum physics relative to the German prime minister when it’s April 17th and cloudy with a chance of light showers in Wichita, Kansas.”

I’m sorry come again.

9.     Freak out #2

AHHHHHHHHHH NVM NOT GONNA CALL MOM MAYDAY MAYDAY *CALLS LIFE ALERT instead* *takes a hiatus* *orders Dominoe’s from Life Alert bc you just realized you forgot to eat breakfast* *picks up pen and returns to test* WHAT’S GOING ON THIS IS NOT ENGLISH (unless this is a Spanish test then it is NOT SPANISH) !!!

10.     You attempt to continue

Okay this test is just taking me for a spin now. At least it’s a nice consistent unwinding downhill road. I give into you test. Take the wheel from me. Destination D-. I hear the weather is actually really nice there I’m not even mad.

11.     Identity Crisis

What is this test? Who am I? Who are you? Did I even spell my name right? *erases name*. Inserts numbers for letters. This is all so wrong. I have no clue what I am doing anymore. *rewrites name*: Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de La Rosa Ramirez. *moves to Boston to work at the Tipton*. *realizes i didn’t finish test.* *flies back*

12.     Inner-struggle

Part of you says give up. But you can do this! But I also can’t. But you’re so smart! BUT I ALSO JUST THOUGHT I WORKED AT THE TIPTON FOR A QUICK SEC

13.     Acceptance of supposed failure.

Well. College was fun while it lasted. My parent’s basement is actually kind of quaint. I could go another 18 years there we just got HBO so it’s really nbd.

14.     WAIT. I REMEMBER HOW TO DO THIS

HOLD UP I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS THIS IS AMAZING but I ALSO HAVE 5 MORE MINUTES TO CHANGE ALL 35 OF MY ANSWERS BUT IT’S FINE I AM SMART

15.     You finish your exam.

Wowowowow I could cry I made it I’m so happy but also done let’s go home and pet my dog and decorate the Christmas tree/Menorah/ just strangers I walk by in general because why not the world is a better place now. Til next semester

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