As a writer, I feel like we are often clumped into two categories: the mysterious pariahs who lurk over society and live lives of tribulation and solitude, or the cosmo-drinking, Prada-wearing Carrie Bradshaws who unrealistically live in a Manhattan apartment on a writer’s salary. For those looking to be or are currently in a relationship with someone who considers themselves a writer, it can be a totally new experience. One that even years of experienced relationships can’t compare to — and while every experience is different, here are nine things you can already prepare for when dating a writer.
1. You will get written about.
It’s inevitable, and a little like dating Taylor Swift. Whether it’s through poetry, short stories, our diary or editorials. Whether blatant or subconscious — it’s bound to happen.
2. You’ll find yourself in the midst of some kind of elaborate plan.
No matter if it’s a 14-part plan for a date or a well-concocted plan for our future lives, writers love to plan, and once an idea gets stuck in our heads, we obsess over it.
3. With that being said, you’ll find more spontaneity and adventures than you signed up for.
Writers feed off of our own experiences; we love to see the world and go on adventures, and while we are avid planners, we are also spontaneous adventurers who try to find the story and purpose in everything.
4. We love spending time with you, but we also need our alone time.
Writing is art, and while sometimes it comes out like word vomit, other times it is a slow, reflective process that needs to be done in solitude. That’s OK. A writer’s zen time is time to themselves.
5. You won’t know how to cure the writer’s block — but you’ll feel the wrath of it anyway.
Writer’s block is like word constipation. Sometimes the right words just won’t come out. It’s really not up to you to cure it, but rather be supportive of the impending frustration that comes with being unable to find the right way to phrase something, or the best way to start or end a piece. The severity of the side effects can range anywhere between deleting the entire piece and slamming the laptop shut to sobbing into a bucket of fried chicken while trying to regain sanity. It’s all fair game, really.
6. You’ll realize things like a typewriter, novels, journals and a premium subscription to WordPress are normal and desirable gifts.
Yes, the Remington No. 5 Streamline Portable Antique Typewriter is gift goals. So are gifts like the Wreck This Journal and 1,000 Awesome Writing Prompts books. Anything that helps us expand our creative horizons and assists us in doing what we love to do are always great gifts for any occasion. Take note.
7. You won’t be phased by us over-analyzing everything, and you’ll realize it’s in our nature.
We will literally reevaluate every spoken word in that fight we got into three months ago to find some underlying meaning or deeply rooted symbolism. Just let us do it. Eventually we will either get too exhausted to care, or write about it and never mention in it again.
8. You’ll understand that we often write through our problems instead of talking about them.
Any major issue that we go through, we write about it; whether it be physically sitting down at a computer, scribbling words into a diary or even mentally stringing along thoughts into composition, writers use their writing as a way to understand and cope with their environment and present situation. Writing often comes more natural to us than speaking and we feel like it is the best way to precisely describe how we feel. If you see us frantically jotting down notes when we’re upset, frightened, anxious, or even excited — be glad! That’s our way of making sense of what’s going on, and its quite healthy and productive.
9. You’ll discover that we defy the “writer” stereotypes, and it is impossible to characterize each writer based on a list.
Not all writers are quiet, mysterious people who isolate themselves from everyone, as often portrayed in books and movies. Many of us are quite social and extroverted. Writers, as with everyone else, don’t really fit into a mold that can be generalized and applied to all of us. We are people who learn from experience and take interest in everything that life has to offer. If you’re lucky enough to be dating, or to even be friends with a writer — teach them, learn from them. Stimulate their mind and their creative desires; you’ll find a writer’s greatest asset is their constant desire for discovery.