Writing this right now makes me feel different…in a really good way.
I’m sitting in a classroom in my hall, listening to my liked songs on Spotify while being on a FaceTime call with the one and only Chinelo (Ayomide and Kamsi are very much fast asleep). You might ask, “what has changed?” Honestly, not that much, except that I feel I am more in control of what I choose to do. I feel myself maturing, which is something I find so weird but cool at the same time. For the first time, I see the decisions I make, the goals I set for myself, and what I sacrifice; it just feels so different.
I stopped writing for the whole year last year because there was so much on my plate. I felt I was fulfilling my priorities but when I look back, I know I could have done better. Here I am now, with two hours to the clock, making sure I send this article in. It makes me feel proud of myself.
How have I grown in the past year? I have decided to take more responsibility for what I sign up for. In the past year, I thought I didn’t have to do certain things because they weren’t that important even when I had consciously taken up the role. This wasn’t my best decision. It made me look incompetent — like I wasn’t up for the tasks I made commitments to. In order to remedy this bad habit, I make sure I am participating in everything I sign up for, even if that means going to bed a little later than usual. It’s definitely worth it.
I feel more in control of my emotions. I have come to realize that most of the time, I can’t control what is happening around me or influence the situation I am in. I accept it as it is. I believe everything in my life happens for a reason and everything that is for me would be for me. For example, if I don’t get something I have been hoping for, I now understand that maybe it’s not meant to be at that moment in time. When I fail, I remind myself that it is inevitable and that if I really take my time, I could potentially learn something from it. Through these realizations, I find myself not stressing about the small things as much.
I see myself waking up earlier to get an early start on my day and complete my tasks. I am more empathetic towards people and make sure I step in when I can to make someone’s day or job easier. I am more selfless and I try to make sure everyone feels comfortable in any space they are in.
Overall, I am more optimistic about life and I feel a lot better about everything because at the end of the day life would always be a pot of beans.
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