Hello friends, this is a new writing series I am starting this semester. A piece from this series called “Derealizacja” will be released monthly and I am very excited to share it with you today.
Last year, when I was sick and depressed, I decided to release how I felt through a new kind of art which became poetry, instead of writing song lyrics like I had done in the past. I had only taken one poetry course during my freshman year. But ever since then, I have been mesmerized by how short lines crammed with so much detail but still containing rhythm can be so moving and powerful. And through this new love and taking another poetry class to help refine my skills during my junior year, I created a small batch of poems that I am proud of and am willing to share.
This first poem was written when I was going through a dark time. As I reflect on this poem now, I can still remember the night I wrote it and how intense my emotions were. So as a warning, it is intense, maybe triggering, but I feel it is a powerful piece of emotion to which I feel some may relate to.
5 Months
Night mind-f*cks keep me up
hostage.
While sickness races through
This depleting carcass.
Stress sweats melt
Me wet, into mindless oblivion.
No where is safe,
When the water is rising.
Puking up hope
Like a rushing sea.
Sugar dip pills go in
And nothing mixes.
Positivity like my soul,
Dies like an innocent animal.
Wishing past semester messes
would just evaporate as I’m in,
A vegetative state.
Trying to see the light and
Living can be hard,
When everything seems,
To be levitating.
Emotion of Anger
Crumbles into piles of crap,
cuz nothing seems to be going right.
So I run left and bump into,
side effects and depression.
With no healing net,
I just SCREAM and
Pray for the best.
Now I sleep and power though,
another day of sickness.
Dreaming things improve.
Just keep smiling!
That’s all I keep saying.
What else is there to say,
When people look for positivity.
Negativity is exploding off the scene.
So positivity is my outcry to extinguish a fire,
Of hurt and pain.
Whatever lane is next be the best.
What next!