If you go to UMass Amherst, you are probably familiar with the Honors College living community–in between the Rec Center, the library, and Hamp dining hall. Up the stairs, past Roots, in between the door to enter Sycamore and Elm, there are a few benches. They are a good place to sit and wait for a friend to walk to the dining hall, to stop on your way home from the Rec Center, or maybe just to read on a sunny day. However, for me, when I see those benches, I think of my first day of college as a freshman, crying there as I said goodbye to my parents.
I know that was a depressing and abrupt introduction to my college life, but it is ok to laugh a little bit because I assure you I am very happy now. For a lot of people, starting college is an exciting, liberating, and maturing time. I mean, who wouldn’t want to live with a bunch of their friends, not have parents over their shoulders all the time, and gain a little bit more independence? But, for me, starting college was like a slap in the face.
Before my freshman year, the longest I had been away from my family was probably three nights at soccer camp. This did not mean that I was constantly with them, but moving into a dorm where I had to rely on talking to them on the phone as my sole source of communication was definitely an adjustment.
Next, is the challenge of making friends. After spending the last 12 years with mostly the same people, and seeing the same faces in my small hometown, I realized once I went to college the awkwardness of making friends with people I had never seen before.
Meanwhile, not only was I challenged with the adjustment of being away from my family and surrounded by people who had no idea who I was, I had to do all of this with a positive attitude while attending class and passing my exams. During my first month of freshman year, I really did not understand why everyone told me that college was going to be the best time of my life. For me, college sucked.
Fast forward three years: I am driving back to Amherst a week before classes start, living off-campus in a house I stayed at for most of the summer, excited for the semester to start, and even more excited to see my friends.
Unlike freshman year Julia, I eat lunch alone most of the time (and really don’t mind), I don’t stress as much about exams, and I don’t feel pressured to go to parties every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. I am not only happier during my senior year, but I am also way more confident.
It would be a complete lie if I said that my whole college experience was a breeze. It took meeting many faces to find my true friends. It took many stressful nights to improve my study and time management skills. And it took a lot of phone calls with my family to not miss them as much. However, I wouldn’t change any of that if I was offered a chance to do it again. Yes, it was uncomfortable, frustrating, and upsetting at times; however, experiencing those challenges three years ago has made me the happier, more relaxed, and more social person I am today.
Now I walk around campus getting to say “hi” to many people I know, not worrying about the presentation I have in my next class, and feeling satisfied with my college life. Even when I see that bench in the Honors College living area, it now makes me smile thinking about how much I have grown since then.
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