During Spring Quarter of my freshman year, I met the most attractive guy I had ever laid eyes on. He was 6 ft tall with straight, fluffy black hair, dark brown eyes and pretty freckles. He was the funniest, most genuine guy I’d ever met and as days passed my feelings for him grew stronger. On June 9, 2022 (the last day of my freshman year of college), he asked me to be his girlfriend. I remember the feeling—it was so magical. It was the moment I had always dreamed of as a little girl, finally being able to experience love and a relationship. We had to do long distance over the summer; it was hard but we managed. Then summer ended and we moved into our apartments. I was so happy to be reunited and was looking forward to starting sophomore year of college with a boyfriend. But sadly that is not what life had in store for me. On September 20th, the day before Fall Quarter of my sophomore year began, he broke up with me. I was inconsolable. It was so unexpected. Our relationship had no issues but we came to a conclusion that it was for the best choice for the both of us. We could always end up reconnecting in the future if it is truly meant to be, but either way I had to experience our breakup at this point in my life.
Since he was my first love and this was my first breakup, it was very difficult for me to accept that my ex broke up with me. Everything I had become accustomed to was now over, and I knew it was going to be an incredibly difficult healing journey. Regardless of whether the relationship lasted for 3 months or 3 years, breakups suck and are hard. It seems nearly impossible to pick up the pieces of your life and heart, but remember that just as the heart breaks, it is also capable of healing. This is why learning how to reestablish who you are without your partner is a necessary aspect of healing. Anything that can improve and reconstruct the self-concept will allow you to heal quicker. If you are experiencing a breakup, I am so sorry andI hope that you will find solace in the advice that helped me to heal and build myself back up.
1. Allow yourself to feel & process the emotions
Scream, yell, and cry till your eyes are swollen. Find ways to let go of any pain you may be experiencing, as long as doing so doesn’t harm you or anybody else. It’s normal to want to feel better, but you shouldn’t suppress your feelings or pretend they don’t exist. Recognizing your emotions and allowing yourself to grieve are important parts of the healing process.
2. Reclaim Yourself
Spend some time reflecting on your identity apart from relationships. Consider nurturing the parts of yourself that you may have neglected. This may encompass interests, pastimes, relationships, and goals for the future.
3. Minimize contact with them
Don’t text, email, call, or meet in person, and keep your distance. It doesn’t have to be permanent, but it’s preferable to keep them out of your sight and out of reach while you’re still vulnerable.Â
4. Support System
Make sure to surround yourself with people that not only love and support you but also make you feel good. Don’t try to go through it alone! Create an emotional support network of dependable family, friends, and/or professionals.
5. Keep yourself busy.
Keeping yourself preoccupied helps you to continue with the flow of your life and prevents you from constantly thinking about them and the breakup. Don’t let a breakup take away the happiness in your life. Use this as an opportunity to build yourself back up even stronger and create a better, more fulfilling life for yourself.
6. Selfcare
While it may be tempting to break your usual routine, this is a time when adherence is really necessary. Stick to your regular eating and sleeping schedules as much as possible, and work out in the gym to release any extra resentment or energy. Even though it could be difficult at first, making an effort will help the healing process.
7. Enjoy life, try new things & meet new people.
Get your friends together and go out when you’re ready to truly enjoy yourself. These relationships, whether they involve lunch dates, travel, or simply sitting and conversing, are unconditional, mutual, and they can heal your broken heart.
8. Learn to enjoy your own company.
After a breakup, spending time alone and taking time to remember who you are outside of a relationship is crucial. It’s a great way to get to know yourself and provide you with the necessary space to decide your next course of action while prioritizing your own needs, future, and well-being.
Although tough, moving past a breakup is doable. Make yourself a priority and embrace your new independence. This is the ideal time to build new connections with the person who matters most in your life: yourself. Even though there are usually catastrophic occurrences in our lives at one point or another, breakups require cautious consideration. Breakups can ultimately result in better days ahead, positive growth and maturity, and a deeper understanding of oneself.