“Who are you?” they ask. This simple three-word question can stimulate a loaded response as people are composed of several identities. Society tends to label an individual, but how is that possible when human beings are widespread, diverse, and complex organisms of nature? An individual who identifies as a girl may not just be a girl. She may be a transgender woman who experienced discrimination and hate for being true to herself. A teacher in highschool may not just be a teacher. They may be a teacher who has a musical passion and dreams of DJing at Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival one day. We are more than one label, more than one identity. I am a daughter, woman, Indian, and foodie. These identities may seem surface level at first; my identity as a daughter derives from my mother or my identity as an Indian derives from my ethnicity. Although that may be partially accurate, these identities have a deeper meaning with a richer history.
On a Thursday at 9:20pm, I became a daughter. That was the day my mother gave birth to me, her second daughter. However, my identity as a daughter runs deeper than my relationship with my parents. From a very young age, my mother told me about her mother and her grandmother. These women make up who I am today. They were the “women of the home” as they cooked, cleaned, and hosted with grace and diligence. They worked as teachers and nurses with passion and wisdom. They raised my mother and their other children with love and discipline. My mother was taught similar qualities which shaped me into who I am today. I strive to have their attributes one day– to be a teacher full of wisdom and a mother full of love. I am the daughter of my beautiful ancestors.
I was raised by two immigrant parents who traveled to America with the intention of creating a successful future. Today, I am surrounded by vibrant colors, ignorant stereotypes, aunties and uncles, the smell of chicken biriyani, Shah Rukh Khan, and lehengas and sarees. As a person of color who lives in a predominantly white community, I was exposed to implicit bias at a young age. I watched as children pointed and snickered, “you smell like curry!” or “you’re a terrorist!” These microaggressions shaped my perception of Indian culture as I became embarrassed about it. I did not want to be seen with other Indian students or eat Indian food in the cafeteria. I traveled to India in 2019 and was reminded of the beauty that exists in my country. I was surrounded by colorful festivals, the sounds of a Sitar, and the love of my large extended family. I no longer gave society the power to distort my perception of Indian culture. I am an Indian who is proud of my heritage.
My identity as a woman of color is deeper than my internal sense of my gender. Society puts women into a box, a box where they must act a certain way, talk a certain way, or look a certain way. My physical appearance has the most impact on my life. They create unrealistic expectations that a human simply cannot achieve. Growing up, I never felt beautiful because my environment glorified Eurocentric features. I believed the definition of beautiful was white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes which I did not have. I read about white princesses that met their Prince Charming. I watched tutorials on bleaching my dark skin color on social media. I lived in a world that did not show me love. I was not taught how to love my features because my ancestors did not learn how to. I longed for validation from a society that never intended to give me it. So, similar to other women of color, I had to find love within myself by appreciating my own features. I want to teach young girls about our beauty, and to resist the eurocentric standards of society. I am a woman who loves every part of myself. I am a woman who wants to teach love and be loved.
I take pride in identifying as a foodie. Side note: my favorite food is bread because you can eat it for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I am always excited to indulge in different kinds of food and cuisines. As someone who enjoys eating, my body experiences changes that vary with my diet. Sometimes I limit how much I eat because I don’t want to gain weight. I skip certain meals so I am not bloated for the rest of the day. This mindset was detrimental to my self-image and eating habits. One day, I read something that changed my mindset. My body takes care of me as I walk around and experience new adventures that the world offers. So, it is important to love my body by fueling my stomach, brain, and overall body with nourishing foods. Any day I struggle with eating, I remind myself to love my body the way I love food. I am a foodie who cares about my body because it cares about me.
Most importantly, I am simply a human being. I experience the highs and lows of life. I meet diverse people that shape me into who I am. I make mistakes that help me grow. I am simply a human being made of many identities.
