Long distance is rough. Starting two new and completely different journeys without one another is a painfully hard pill to swallow. You start to find yourself questioning the relevance you hold in your significant other’s life, constantly wondering if they think about you as much as you think about them. You start to notice unfamiliar faces on their stories and hear unfamiliar names during calls and begin to feel left out on all the new experiences your partner is having. Long distance can feel lonely and isolating, but it does not need to define your happiness for the next four years.
The emotional rollercoaster I was on during the morning I left for college is almost indescribable. It was a moment that I had been anticipating for years yet concurrently dreading. I felt pride in getting into one of my top schools and was stirring with excitement for all of the experiences and opportunities I was going to receive at Michigan. Yet, a looming sense of fear and anxiety existed within me, dreading the difficulties that could accompany starting a new chapter in my relationship. I always had an easy time fitting in and adjusting to change, but I had no idea how I could possibly feel whole without him by my side. He was home to me, as cliche as it sounds – but soon I found the good in this new chapter.
The first few months of long distance have taught me a lot about myself and what it means to be independent. Placing a large amount of your happiness and security in someone else can be incredibly draining. Long distance relationships force you out of any sort of toxic codependence that may be present in your relationship. I find happiness and security in my platonic friendships at school while still having the love and support of my partner through the phone. Not being able to be in each other’s physical proximity has been difficult, but its also taught us a lot about communication. We value our time spent together a lot more than we previously did and it makes every moment in person that much more exciting.Â
I’ve realized that taking advantage and prioritizing alone time has done numbers for my growth as an individual. Prioritizing my studies and joining different organizations on campus has made me feel both productive and accomplished. I’ve been able to explore different interests, like writing and sustainability, to a magnitude I wasn’t able to before. It’s wonderful to have a support system with someone hundreds of miles away while getting to explore your individual interests and curiosities. Making new and meaningful connections with a diverse network of people has been a key experience during my first few months at Michigan. I do miss my person at times, but living life independently and for myself has been slightly refreshing. Distance in a relationship is difficult but worth it, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me in the future.