Edited by: Geetanjali Roy
It’s been one and a half months of college. The mid-sems are upon us. Self doubt and anxiety are at an all time high. We are at Ashoka University; everyone around us is smart and talented as hell. You are too! But we can have a hard time believing that sometimes. After the first week of classes, my reaction was, “What do you mean the academically rigorous institution I chose to go to turned out to actually be academically rigorous??” But now that we’ve made it, we’re here to stay.
The question is: how do we deal with this? I’m kind of tired of feeling like a fraud, waiting for everyone to realise I’m not actually smart or talented and whatever I have achieved is through sheer luck. It comes with the anxiety of being exposed; so illogical but still very real. And I know I’m not the only one feeling like this.
How long can I romanticise this feeling, call it quirky and have it be funny?
Affirmations are the kryptonite of this impostor syndrome. They’re short, encouraging statements to motivate you into realising your goals and building a positive self-image. Even when we don’t believe them completely, they help. See, I’m not trying to sound like those toxically positive, “happiness is just a mindset!” people. But trying to fight negative and irrational thoughts which anxiety plants in our head with positive but logical thoughts works. Because let’s be real: this is not Among Us, there are no imposters here, only painfully intrusive thoughts that make us feel like there are.
Affirmations might be too Gen-Z for some of you but despite their seeming silliness, they can be quite valuable. Picture this, you are a raccoon, on the beach, drinking coconut water straight out of a fresh coconut, telling yourself:
I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am rich, I am that b*tch.
Or:
Unbothered. Moisturised. In my lane. Focused. Flourishing.
Life would be so good. Unfortunately for you, you are not a raccoon. You are a student at Ashoka. But that doesn’t mean you can’t say the same things to yourself !Are you really gonna let the fact that you aren’t a raccoon stop you from being healthy, wealthy, rich and that bitch? I hope not!
I’m not trying to be preachy. This is a relevant issue which comes up every year but never gets old. I have some genius friends struggling with their self esteem, feeling like they don’t deserve to be here. It blows my mind, because if they don’t feel like they belong, how can I? Is it possible to ever be enough? It is really easy to be intimidated at a place like Ashoka, where nothing ever seems to be enough.
Right now, I’m thinking of the test I have tomorrow that I’m completely unprepared for, and all the assignment deadlines I’m pretending don’t exist. The stress gets a little higher. But what have we learnt today? Yes, affirmations. So, say it with me. I’ve got this. I don’t claim this negativity. Begone bad thought(s). Feel better yet? No? Keep trying. In this competitive environment, you need to be on your side. If we are expending our energy hating ourselves, how can we expect to move forward? As Geet from Jab We Met said, be your own favourite.