Having a college social life when you’re an ambivert

For the longest time, I was extroverted – throughout elementary, middle, and most of high school. I loved constantly being around people, interacting with friends, and being social overall. However, towards the end of my senior year, I lost almost all of my friends, and of course, I became more anxious and nervous about being alone more often. 

Transitioning from being extroverted almost all my life to becoming almost entirely introverted was tough on me and my mental health. Over time I began to feel more comfortable being alone, and since it was nearing the summer when I’d be working nearly every day, I wasn’t too worried. 

However, the real issue began when college started, and I was expected to be more social, having to revert to my old self – nearly impossible. I still struggle with this, especially with how much school work is given, and other things I have to balance. I’ve learned to be active with friends when I have free time and to allow myself to have space when my social battery runs out.  

If you feel like this, you’re not alone. Here are some tips on balancing your private and social life when you’re an ambivert like me.

*My preference to maintain the perfect balance between being social and being alone is having three categories to follow*

Absolute Free Time – This option means having nothing to do, so you can relax alone or hang out with friends.

50/50 – This one means having some stuff to do so you can split up your time evenly, spending time alone, and seeing people, depending on social battery levels.

Absolute No Free Time – this one means having too much to do, so you have no choice but to focus on that and isolate yourself.

Using the category strategy has proven to help me recharge from social settings and recover from isolation. The 50/50 category is especially helpful because I can either spend half the day alone and the other half around people. I can also spend time with people, and we each do our own thing, like hitting two birds with one stone. I try to split it up as best as possible, so if one day I spend a lot of time doing homework, I’ll go to dinner with some friends or spend the next day hanging out with people. 

It’s not an easy task to deal with since ambiversion is such a new thing and not many people know it even exists. It’s hard to feel understood at times, but having a strong support system is great for coping with it. 

• ambivert
• college
• college life
• mental health
• social