I am a hopeless romantic. I love love. Because of this slightly intense obsession, I always try to find out peoples’ love languages. This means I can discover how to best show them love.
The concept of the 5 love languages was first proposed and categorised by Dr Gary Chapman. Love language is another way of defining how you communicate love; how you show it and like to receive it. According to Dr Chapman, the 5 love languages are gift-giving, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and quality time.
I am a words of affirmation girl; the way to my heart is through verbal or written communication. This means I feel my most loved when people tell me I am beautiful, they enjoy spending time with me, or how much they love me. This is how I get the most reassurance in my relationships. (AKA talk lovey-dovey to me…. please)
Christmas time is the best time to show people you love them. It may be time in your relationships to discover how they actually like receiving love. This means you can show them how much you appreciate them, in the right way. There are tests you can do online to find your love language. However, I prefer having a discussion about them – delving into how you feel when people show you love in different ways. Also, talking about how you show love in different situations.
Now, onto how you can show love to people in their love language over this holiday period:
- Gift giving
This is the most obvious and brilliant love language for this time of year. I think this love language is less about the actual gift but more about the effort and thought you have put into getting the gift. Try to really delve into what this specific person would love. What do you think of when you think of them? Can you turn this into a gift somehow? If everything seems too expensive, why don’t you try making a homemade gift?
- Quality time
I know the holiday season can be a busy time of year but it’s also the perfect time of year to meet with people to spread the Christmas joy. I think everyone whose love language is quality time has a different definition of what they like. Some are happy chilling and watching Netflix together, whilst others want to go out and do things for this fulfillment. Talk to your loved ones to figure out what they need! Over the Christmas period, there are millions of things you can do with friends, partners, or family. For example, go for a wintery walk, go to a Christmas market, or watch Christmas films. The list is endless. Just being with the person showing you’re enjoying yourself and happy to be with them is enough.
- Words of affirmation
This is another great one for this time of year. Christmas cards may just be the way to your people’s hearts. Pick up a Christmas card and spend 10 minutes writing something heartfelt inside. Another tip may be to ring them, ask them how they are, tell them how much you love them and how much you appreciate having them in your life. It may seem simple, but this can make the world of difference to some people.
- Acts of service
The holiday period can be hectic for many people. If you want to support someone who loves in an act of service way, think of how you can lighten their load. This can be something simple like cooking them a meal or helping them wrap their family’s presents. If they’re busy with work or uni, ask them if they want help with their washing or food shop. The things you do don’t need to be big, but they will make a big impact on your loved ones.
- Physical touch
There is no better time than Christmas to cuddle under blankets and watch a film. I believe someone with this love language feels their most loved when they are simply close to their loved ones. Why don’t you put on a Christmas film, buy chocolate and snuggle up? If you aren’t a touchy person, why don’t you stroke their hair or rest your head on their shoulder for a little bit? Give people you love a hug and wish them a happy Christmas. I think this love language is the most different with friends compared to partners. Learn peoples’ boundaries and snuggle up!