The days are getting shorter, the nights longer and colder. Around this time of year my Instagram feed becomes flooded with pictures of happy couples wearing matching sweaters and drinking hot chocolate. It seems that everyone has found that special someone just in time for the holidays. Is this all some huge coincidence? Some might say that this is the result of a phenomenon known as Cuffing Season.Â
For those of you who don’t know, Cuffing Season usually lasts from October until sometime in December-February. Urban Dictionary defines it as, “The cold season when everyone’s coupling up, so you settle for a new bf/gf way below your standards.” Essentially, people tend to get lonely around this time of year. The idea of having someone to snuggle with by the fireplace has everyone turning situationships into relationships and relationships into something more serious.Â
Don’t get me wrong, those pictures some of you are posting are adorable I am by no means hating on people who are currently in relationships. In past years I’ve even participated in these types of activities. I’ve built the gingerbread houses, worn the matching pyjamas, and posted it all over my social media. But what people seem to ignore is how Cuffing Season can put a lot of pressure on those of us who aren’t currently in a romantic relationship.Â
Okay, real talk, I have been single for about 7 months now. This is the longest stretch of time I’ve been single in the last 4 years. At the risk sounding totally cliche, they have been some of the best months of my life. I more than happily had my hot girl summer and if I’m being honest I’m not quite ready to abandon that phase of my life just yet. The months I’ve spent alone have been filled with self-growth and self-discovery, they’ve given me some much-needed time to branch out. I got back into yoga, I started a new job, became a writer for Her Campus and have met so many new and wonderful people.Â
Unfortunately, our society tends to put a lot of emphasis on romantic relationships. We’re always hearing about finding our perfect match, our other half, as if we aren’t whole people on our own. Our time as single people is spent searching for our next partner. The idea of relationships is highly romanticized and sought after. People want to be in a relationship simply to say that they’re in a relationship. These ideas are even more in-your-face during this time of year, when the cold leaves us wanting the warmth of someone else’s sweater.
Of course, if you do happen to find someone and you want to take that leap, I say go for it. But make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Do it because you are genuinely interested in them and want them to be a part of your life. Not because you want someone, anyone, to spend the holidays with. Romantic relationships don’t have to be the be-all end-all for us.
As for my fellow single people, I propose a hot girl summer part two, a Hot Girl Winter, if you will. Self-growth doesn’t just have to a summer-time thing. Dedicate some of your time to those personal and creative projects you’ve been placing on hold. Or spend a little extra time studying so you can ace that class (exam season is unfortunately upon us).
Additionally, just a reminder that romantic love isn’t the only type of love. Spend some time this holiday season with your friends and family. All those holiday activity ideas for couples popping up on your Pinterest? They can be done with your besties or even by yourself if you want that extra me-time.Â
So, while a holiday romance can be super fun, make sure you remember that having a significant other isn’t the most important thing in the world. Don’t lower your standards just because it’s getting a little cold outside. I promise there are other ways to stay warm and happy without an SO. Take this time for yourself and enjoy it.