Every New Years, it’s the same old, same old. You tell yourself what you want to, no, what you WILL change, and you go at it for the first few weeks to feel accomplished. BUT slowly, as time goes by, you’re back to who you were prior to all of this, back to what you’re comfortable with, what you’re used to. It’s a vicious cycle, honestly. Unless you’re super put together and determined then I don’t want to hear it, but if you’re like me and find it so hard to stick to your goals, why don’t we change that this year? I feel like I shouldn’t feel I need to wait for the new year to finally get my sh*t together, but almost one month in and I finally want to get my sh*t together (LOL good timing). I spent a lot of time thinking about my goals and here I am, ready to be brutally honest on the internet as if my digital footprint doesn’t exist, and share not what I want to change within myself, but use a more positive light to find what already exists within me to make it happen. Below, I’m going to tell you everything I want to fix and pray that this acts as some form of manifestation.
Think More Positive Thoughts
I’m a rather anxious girly and this sadly causes me to overthink and reflect heavily on almost any minor social interaction I have ever had in my life. I really believe that shifting to a more positive outlook on myself and my mindset will help me feel more confident in myself and ease the anxiety I have about what other people think of me. Of course, this is way easier said than done but my goal is to make small steps like positive affirmations or just speaking to myself kindly, which can do so much better than being upset that I did or said something a certain way. Some of my favourite affirmations include:
You are capable of so much more than you think.
I am surrounded by people who love me and support me AND always will.
No Anikka, that group of very attractive men did not see you roll over a curb LOUDLY in this very busy parking lot. (This did happen RIP)
You are more than this moment right now. (Perfect for sad times)
I have a fat ass. (
Lately, I haven’t been as active or as healthy as I usually am, especially compared to who I was around this time last year… Seeing changes in my body that I’m not used to or something I don’t feel good about reflects a lot on how I view and think about myself. I’ve noticed this a lot lately. So, taking the time to reflect and put more care into my thoughts, especially about my body is very important to me right now, especially until I feel more confident. Some things I like to say are:
Your body is meant to keep you safe, healthy and happy.
What I was once capable of before, I can be again.
Everyone loves cuddly bodies.
Affirmations are incredible to help you feel more grounded and guide your thinking. I really hope to see a change in my mental health by being more kind to myself.
I hope to take my mental health more seriously
I’ve been seriously struggling to take care of my mental health like this has BEEN a thing for ages. I’m getting exhausted myself because sometimes it’s hard for me to admit that I need help. I’ve ghosted on doctor’s appointments about anxiety and depression and have even forgotten about my own SA counselling appointments because I neglect myself so much when I feel overwhelmed with what’s physically around me. My mental health needs to be a priority because how can I go forward when I have so much weighing down on me? I’m not even sure the last time I fully felt like myself, but I miss that girl. I want to find her again. Taking my mental health more seriously will help me take steps towards feeling like myself again and being okay with how I feel. This is how I plan to do it:
Call my doctor and make that appointment and GO TO IT!
I am so blessed with my wonderful gem of a mother who is so invested in my mental health that as soon as I book that appointment, I’m sure she will carry me there herself if she has to, so I’m going to let her know when it is to feel supported and maybe scared to miss it (just kidding haha) and actually go.
Do small things that make me feel accomplished.
Some days it’s so hard to get out of bed or even go to class. I lack motivation or desire to be within six feet of something with a heartbeat so staying in the comfort of my pillowy soft sheets and satin pillowcases (as I am right now) is honestly very difficult for me sometimes. But as girly with a whole cat to care for (basically my child), active in far too many Laurier clubs and uh I do not know, FULL-TIME SCHOOL, I cannot be lounging in the soft goodness of my wonderful bed. Although it feels great now to do nothing and aimlessly scroll in the endless void of blue light and the catchy sounds of TikTok, I get devastated when I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything. Now, as a girl who used to work two jobs, and balance school, dating, social life and the gym (and somehow, I slept well during all this) I feel sad when I’m not who I was before. I concluded that doing small things throughout the day will make me far happier and more accomplished than hating myself for not doing bigger things. Breaking chores down into parts or focusing on one task like going to the gym or cooking two wholesome meals a day will make me feel good about myself as I build my routine. I’ve been doing this more and have honestly felt better about myself too. Taking things one step at a time has helped me build a more positive day.
Hang out with the people I love more
Now, I am a girl who is obsessed with her friends, like I LOVE my friends a lot. I am someone who values her friendships and I always try my best to see, talk to or show some love to all my pals. Unfortunately, I recently noticed that I stopped making active plans with friends and even flopped on a lot of plans. This made me so sad because my friends mean the world to me and beforehand, I was constantly seeing them. Of course, as we grow older and get big girl jobs, seeing each other is harder but sometimes it’s me willingly picking Netflix or ugh I hate to say it, my boyfriend (yuck, a MAN) over my friends. 2021 Anikka WOULD NEVER! I can physically feel my happiness declining the more the weeks go by if I didn’t have a cutie girl talk over gelato. I want to really prioritize my lovely friends this year and see them and make memories. They are literally going to be the aunts to my children, and I need them to have some good stories to tell. So, luckily, my problem solved itself, but my boyfriend is going abroad this semester, which leaves me with plenty of time to make good plans with some good people. I can figure out a good balance with my social life too with this extra time. Furthermore, I also want to make more friends and get closer to people I already know. I want to get closer to people at university so I can feel like I belong (I’m very shy) and not go home every week like a loser. I plan to see my friends more by making plans every time I am back home from uni, during reading week and spending my free time at university by going to the plans I’m invited to. I can feel my social battery charging up as I type this.
I feel like every goal I type out might seem easy or super accomplishable, but these are steps that have been a little bit difficult for me and prevent me from reaching optimum city gyal status, just kidding. But these are steps catered to me feeling better and happier with myself. Taking the time to understand what would help me was a very positive first step and I’m proud. If you’re tired of your sh*t, make that list and GO GO GO! I’m excited to see if I am able to accomplish these great changes and become a version of myself that I am proud of.