Recently, two of my friends have come to me agonizing about their respective love interests. But in all honesty, as someone who has never been in a relationship before, I think it is pretty amusing for me to listen and offer my advice. My experience with romantic love has mostly been influenced by media: books, movies, and my friends’ relationships. Despite this, I offer pretty good advice. And both of these events happening so close to one another has reminded me of the infamous holiday: Valentine’s Day!
Given the fact that cuffing season is over, a lot of the new couples have definitely enjoyed their winter months and holidays together; Valentine’s will be no different. Not to be a pessimist, but I do wonder if these relationships will be able to last. I recognize that anyone who criticizes Valentine’s Day will come off as bitter or jealous, but that is not the case (This sentiment is definitely a product of something deeper and much more societally ingrained than you might think!). Despite my reluctance to accept Valentine’s Day entirely, I do appreciate the idea of love, being in love, and all the forms of love that exist including platonic, familial, etc.
I simply don’t want people to force themselves to confess in the name of a holiday or feel lonely on Valentine’s Day.
Now that Valentine’s Day is coming up, a lot of memories from high school are coming back to me. In high school, we used to have anonymous letters that we could send to other people with either a song or a piece of candy. I remember wanting to send a couple to my crushes that I had throughout middle and high school, but the cheap side of me always ended up winning. I never ended up buying anything for them, but I was always jealous of the people who were in relationships and received those gifts – it wasn’t even the fact that they were in a relationship that I was jealous of. It was more that I wanted to be on the receiving end of any gift. My love language is not gift-giving or gift-receiving, but I thought that it would still feel nice to receive a gift on a holiday where relationships are celebrated.
In my sophomore year, one of my friends anonymously bought our whole friend group a Valentine’s Day card with a song attached to it. I clearly remember Boyfriend by Big Time Rush playing while three members of our Pep Squad danced in front of me. I remember the feelings of extreme embarrassment but genuine happiness at the same time. It was at that moment that I realized that Valentine’s Day didn’t necessarily have to be between romantic partners. Teaching our youth and people that love exists in different ways and that you don’t necessarily need a relationship to be happy or be able to celebrate a holiday – that you’re not locked out due to your singleness – is important. So on this Valentine’s Day please enjoy yourself and focus on all the love that is present in your life rather than the ones that aren’t.