Recently, the dating scene has changed. This can be seen in some well-known romcoms such as 10 Things I hate About You. In the past, this movie may have been an attainable way to acquire a relationship, with romantic grand gestures, but now it is seen as just a fantasy. I have personally experienced this shift in relationships as I am in a so-called “situationship” at the moment. Situationships seem to be all the rage, but from personal experience, situationships suck! In a situationship, there are the benefits of dating, while also being single with no commitment or strings attached. There are feelings and the concept of dating without any of the labels, which, if you want to date the person, is excruciating. Trust me, I have been in this stage for three months now, and being here for so long has led me to overthink; does he want to date me? Does he just not want the commitment? Why have we been stuck here for so long? The hardest part is wanting the commitment, but not having the feeling reciprocated by the other person. A situationship can work if you do not know how you feel about someone or if you are not ready to date. However, with that being said, at times it can feel like being led on; allowing you to believe there is something there when there may not be. Â
According to the Pew Research Center, 30% of American adults have used a dating app or website, with 48% being aged 18-29. While there is a decent amount of people who use dating sites and apps, there is a portion of Americans (46%) who believe that dating apps and sites are slightly dangerous or are not safe at all. While I have personally used a dating app, I do believe that there should always be an air of caution surrounding interactions with strangers online. Some of the most common dating sites and apps are Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Match, and eHarmony. I have had a mix of good and bad experiences. There is the need to be cautious with whom you talk to and what information you give them.Â
However, many can find their partners online, so it may be worth trying since it is the new age of dating. Roughly one in ten have found a committed partner or have married someone from online dating sites or apps. This statistic is higher in the LGBTQ+ community and those who are younger, aged 18 to 49 according to the Pew Research Center. Â
As I previously mentioned, the culture surrounding dating has changed. During the Second World War, women would date to find a husband that would last the war rather than for status. Thus, the rate of marriage rose, and the age that one would marry decreased. It was common for people to marry at 18 or 19 years old since a man could be drafted at the age of 18. Dating was more formal and was used as a tool to get engaged and married. Â
Then, moving into the 1960s, there was a sexual revolution; especially with birth control beginning to be used as a contraceptive. Thus, there were more people having sex before marriage. So, moving through the 1960s, 70s, 80s, and 90s, people had more fun dating and were shown more in movies and TV shows demonstrating this, such as Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, and Friends. Hookups especially started popping up in the 1980s and 90s. Within my favorite show, Friends, the beginnings of hookup culture are widely prevalent. An example in the show would be Joey constantly having one-night stands with girls he met that night and never seeing them again. He never really could keep a relationship. Â
Moving into the 2000s, 2010s, to now, there has become the idea of a talking stage and a situationship. The talking stage has risen due to the development and growth of technology with the internet and cell phones. The talking stage is usually when people text and/or call each other, going on dates, but there is no commitment to each other yet. The rise of dating apps has added to the number of people that have been put into this phase. It has become more laidback, less like actual “dating” and has transformed into short flings.Â
As you can see, there is a lot that has changed from the middle of the 20th century to now. Recent technological advances are what changed the dating scene from wanting committed relationships to everyone wanting quick hookups. If you’re thinking of starting a relationship, be prepared to know exactly what you’re looking for and what you want, whether that be the time frame, the commitment level, or the (way) in which you’ll be finding your partner in this new and chaotic dating era.Â