The dreadful and scary time has come: my senior year of college. The time when everything changes and I am faced with many decisions I have trouble processing. There is constant angst, anxiety and worry about what the future may look like, where I’ll be and the people I’ll be around.
I will never feel one hundred percent ready to leave the place I’ve called home for the last four years of my life, and all of the things that come with it. Nothing compares to the Sunday morning trips to Tandem, long walks around campus, nights on the town, and yes, even the hours spent in the Student Union wanting to rip my hair out trying to figure out equations I truthfully didn’t care about. Those are moments in time I won’t be able to re-create a year from now.Â
These thoughts have been on my mind for quite some time now. There is no formula for the right time to move on or the right time to say goodbye to these fun-filled weeks and weekends. Starting in May, it’s a world of uncertainty, a feeling I tend to struggle with.
I was at my very first CHAARG event of the semester, looking around at all of the amazing people in my life I had collectively met over the last four years. I started to feel sad. But that’s when I got to thinking, there is no time to dwell on these thoughts that live in my brain. Amy Smart said, “The best gift we can have is living in the present moment and really enjoying it for what it is; and, not being in our heads and getting sidetracked.” I do not want to regret being distracted and stressed in every moment of my final semester of college. Â
This sounds clichĂ©, but I started living in the moment. I stopped looking at everything like it was the last time because it’s not. The people I have met, the friends I have made, and the moments we have shared aren’t going away. They will always be in my life and in my mind. I will have countless opportunities to make more memories with my friends after college and beyond. Just because it’s a new chapter, doesn’t mean any type of dynamic will change. I am taking in every moment of being in Amherst, making sure none of it is taken for granted.Â
Another way that has helped me with these feelings is writing them down. Journaling has always been a staple in my life when it comes to dealing with stress and anxiety-evoking situations. I have made it a priority to write down my emotions in chaotic times. I look forward to continuing this coping method as I leave college and enter the next chapter of my life.
Overall, taking comfort in knowing that I have made lifelong friends and have met people who will be in my life forever has made this transition much easier. I still allow myself to feel all the emotions of moving onto a new part of my life without getting frustrated with myself but have found ways to make these emotions easier to process. I am extremely thankful for everything Amherst has given me and am excited to take it with me in the next few chapters I face.Â
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