What I Wish I Knew Before Leaving A Long-Term Relationship

Being young and in a relationship comes with its unique set of challenges. It can be difficult to know when things need to end between you and your partner. Especially when you have been with someone for so long, a breakup can leave you feeling lost, but it’s temporary. You will eventually heal and move on. Here is what I wish I knew before my long-term relationship ended. Take what resonates with you, leave what doesn’t. You know yourself best. 

You are going to want to go back on your decision.

It may seem easier to get back together with them then moving on from the breakup. Remember that the relationship ended for a reason and stand your ground. It is not healthy for either of you to keep going back and forth with each other. The what-ifs are not going to help. Some issues just may not get resolved, and that’s okay. If the issue is a deal-breaker for you, recognize that and move on to better.

Stop holding onto time.

How long you have been together is not what defines a good relationship. Life is too short to stay in a relationship that does not bring you joy, no matter how many years you’ve been together. 

You can take your time to tell your friends and family.

Not everyone needs to know right away. Take time to process by yourself before you tell others. You don’t need to tell everyone why either. Your true friends will understand if you don’t want to share what happened. 

Don’t wallow away in your room.

Surround yourself with loved ones. Do the things that bring you peace. Personally, going to the gym and group exercise classes helped me cope. Invest time in yourself. Do everything you were holding back on. 

Stop avoiding your feelings.

If you want to cry, cry. If you wanna scream, scream. At some point, you are going to need to address how you feel. Memories do not just go away after a breakup. You may see things that remind you of your ex all around. Embrace the emotions and you will eventually heal. 

Try not to stalk the other’s social media.

Don’t be afraid to block, regardless of whether it is temporary or permanent. Nothing good is going to come from you scrolling on their feed. It will not give you closure. 

You may be resentful if things ended on bad terms.

It’s normal to feel angry. Grief comes in many forms. Find ways to take that anger out in ways that don’t hurt yourself. Go to the gym. Go to a smash room or ax throwing. Scream your favorite songs. 

Remember that you are THAT girl.

You deserve the best. Bad b*tches don’t settle for less than they deserve. Recognize your worth. You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. 

If nothing above resonates with you, take this one piece of advice: Give yourself grace. Breakups are hard. If you feel yourself struggling, consider professional help to navigate your emotions. Mental health is just as important as physical health, so prioritize yourself. The truth is, sometimes you need to end the relationship with the one you love to become the woman YOU DESERVE. Wishing you all the healing, happiness and growth in the world. 

XOXO,

Namitha

• breakups
• college
• love
• mental health
• relationship
• self-care