This past weekend, I went home because I was sick. During this time, my parents and I discussed some valuable lessons I thought should be heard by more people.
One of the conversations was about going out of town with people who you believe are your friends. Now, this conversation came up because I had asked if I could go out of town with a couple of friends later this year to either a cabin or on a small road trip. Of course to this, they said no and explained the reasons why. As a young adult, all I am thinking about is the fun aspect of it, but they helped me realize a lot of things I hadn’t considered.
A little background on my parents: They were definitely strict while I was growing up. I started going to sleepovers around the age of 15. I didn’t start wearing makeup out of the house until I was around 17. Now, my dad used to say that I couldn’t have boyfriends until I was 32, and my older sister couldn’t have a boyfriend until she was 18. Do you all see where I’m coming from? I didn’t get my first phone till I was around 11, which I thank them for, but I couldn’t really do anything on it because it was a flip phone. To make a long story short, compared to my friends, my parents were extremely strict when it came to doing things without them or without my big sister. Normally, my ticket out was saying my big sister was going because even though I didn’t know it at that time, she was my second pair of eyes.
Let’s get back to the topic at hand. So, when I asked my parents if I could go out of town, the first thing they brought up was the story of Kenneka Jenkins. She had told her mother she was going out for just one night with her friends. Sadly, she was left alone while intoxicated and was later found dead in a hotel freezer. The hotel said the mother couldn’t look at the camera footage. Additionally, the police said she had to wait to report her daughter missing. She felt that if the police started the investigation sooner, they could have possibly saved her life. This is why my parents say never to leave your drink anywhere and if it is left, don’t drink from it again. They also told me to go with someone who wouldn’t leave you alone so that you have a second pair of eyes watching you incase no one else is. This second pair of eyes normally catches things you do not. My mother has demonstrated this by going everywhere with her mother. Everytime she goes out of town, her mother is always there with her to be her second pair of eyes when she is busy. My mom has instilled this in me by having me go any and everywhere with my big sister.
Another example they had brought up was the story of Shanquella Robinson. She went to San Jose del Cabo, Mexico with a group of so called friends. One of the girls ended up beating her to death while she was naked. All of her other “friends” watched, told her to fight back and did not intervene. Instead, they watched her die and later told her parents that she had gotten alcohol poisoning. They came back to the states as if nothing happened, leaving her body in Mexico and didn’t say anything. Insanely enough, the police found out what really happened because one of her “friends” recorded a video of the incident. A terrible way to go, surrounded by people you believed would never harm you in any way.
One thing my father said about these situations is that it sucks that people have to be guinea pigs to these situations for the rest of the world to understand you have to think about these things. This was another reason why my parents said no and why I am glad they said no.
My dad has a friend group called the circle boys. They have been friends since childhood and if someone tries to mess with one of them, they mess with all of them. It’s been this way for their entire relationship. Even to this day, if they see someone doing wrong or talking bad about one of their boys, the entire group is on that one person. My dad told me stories about them at parties, times they’ve gone out of town, and even just trips to the store where they have proven their loyalty to each other. In the wise words of my father, “These are relationships that have been built over time, not in one night.”
This is a conversation with my parents I will never forget. I hope this helps someone else with the decision making process. Especially, when it comes to what friends you vacation or road trip with because anything can happen at any time.
If you would like to know more about the Shanquella Robinson story, click here.
If you would like to know more about the Kenneka Jenkins story, click here.