A Conversation Dedicated to Our Brown Beauties

I met Victoria (better known as Tori) Husain in 2019 during my freshman year of high school. From the first moment I met Tori, I knew I needed someone like them in my life. They accepted me with open arms and lots of love– reminding me of my strength and beauty as a young brown woman. This story is dedicated to the beautiful brown baby girls in our world. 

*Tori uses she/they pronouns

In 2021, Tori participated in the study program at New York University (NYU). She flew to Argentina for an experience that was only supposed to last for the Spring semester and summer break. However, Tori would not be herself if the plans did not work out the way she expected they would. In April, Tori hosted a show for artists and musicians in Buenos Aires. She continued to connect musicians in Latin America to artists from the United States– finding her passion for building community through music. Tori also began her spiritual journey and became closer to her ancestry and inner child. They felt closer to themselves than they have ever been, so she decided to listen to her heart and extended her stay in Argentina: “it was more of a practice of making sure I was doing shit for me.” 

Tori and I understand the tribulation that comes with the expectations of brown and immigrant parents. Most brown parents have a plan in mind for their child’s success– graduate high school, attend a prestigious university, and obtain a high-paying job. I understand how nerve-wracking it can be to tell your parents that the plan they created for you has changed; simply because you do not want to follow that pathway. Although Tori was nervous to tell their parents about the intended gap year, they knew this conversation was essential to their self-discovery journey. “I have to get on the phone with my parents and tell them that I am not going to do their plan because if I was going to do something for me, this conversation would have to happen regardless,” they said. Here are words of encouragement; disclaimer: I understand that this is a lot easier said than done. Growing up, we are forced to adopt a specific mindset in order to please our parents. However, at one point, we must choose ourselves. You are not ungrateful or disrespectful, you are simply using your power to advocate for yourself and your personal ambitions. 

Tori is one of the most inspiring people I know. They devote their life and actions to uplifting others, specifically brown women: “I do this for brown women.” I asked them a simple question and they replied with a simple answer:

Me: What are you doing for us? 

Tori: I’m alive. 

They continued to discuss the lack of representation in the communities they are a part of, “I don’t see people like me.” Tori is a biracial person, Indian and Colombian, who is part of the queer community. “I want more brown women with swag out there; masculine, feminine, everything.” The experiences of brown women are not commonly talked about; however, it needs to be. Tori and I are children of immigrant parents who grew up in a predominantly white community. This experience has impacted us in so many ways whether it is about developing confidence or finding our place in both communities. This is only one of the hundred experiences brown women go through; we all have our own stories that shaped us into who we are today. It is crucial to discover our identities and share our experiences so we can grow and uplift one another to become the most powerful version of ourselves.  

As a brown girl who lives in a predominantly white area, I am still learning how to take care of myself. I am prioritizing my own needs over others because I am finally understanding my self-worth. Empathy is important, but it is only authentic if we are empathetic to ourselves. I asked Tori about how they take care of their own energy and perform internal validation. Tori maintains self-love by following a morning routine and creating healthy habits. Every morning, Tori will spend time with themself by meditating, drinking water, and eating breakfast while listening to positive affirmations. Once it is 10 am, Tori will spend time with others whether it is hanging out with friends or answering emails, “I need my own clarity before I can start interacting with other people’s energy.” They are learning how to prioritize alone time, “I have Tori days where I take myself on food dates or go for a massage.” Tori ends with, “if I am trying to save the world, I need to be okay.” 

The world tends to discourage brown women by saying we are wrong, we are powerless, and we are not beautiful. However, our beauty and love is deeply rooted in our ancestry. Our ammas (mothers), aunties (aunts), and ammachis and pattis (grandmothers) are living proof that we are correct, we are powerful, and we are beautiful; society is wrong. Tori encourages brown women to love their body as it is, “this is how my face is supposed to look, this is how my body was meant to be.” Tori shares a piece of advice dedicated to brown women, “fall in love with your insanity because you have the right to be angry and feel the way you do.” 

To the brown woman reading this, I love you. I hope you feel the truest form of love because you deserve it for simply being alive. 

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