Have you ever found yourself daydreaming about that cutie in your statistics class? Or even something as innocent as envisioning a future with your celeb crush? If you’re being sucked into the possibilities of what could be and are ignoring the obvious, you could be a victim of the delusion.
What is A Delusionship?
A delusionship is a branch off of a relationship where one person is a little delusional about the other. This usually means you have feelings for someone and it doesn’t seem to be reciprocated, but that doesn’t stop you from reading into their every move. You see everything through rose-tinted glasses and ignore any evidence that you’re nothing more than a friend (and sometimes even a stranger) to them.
This can lead to overthinking, such as truly believing that the “heyyy” they sent with two extra Ys means they’re in love or that they haven’t snapped you back in five hours because they’re thinking of the perfect thing to say to you. Sometimes, we even come across the notorious TikTok Tarot readings that tell us he’s “waiting to make the first move” and use it as proof. Basically, you’ll take any “sign” from the universe that you’re both meant to be.
Who Experiences Delusionships?
Young women and teenage girls tend to be the biggest culprits. It’s very possible for a man to experience a delusionship, but we don’t hear about it as often compared to women on social media. Really anyone who is a hopeless romantic and likes to romanticize life can be in a delusionship.
Friends can also be delusional together, and even feed into each other’s ideas. You and your group chat may overanalyze that thing he said and now you’re certain he wants you — even though he never makes an effort to see you, and only talks to you when it’s convenient for him.
Why do they happen?
Oftentimes, I see women seek out crushes because they’re simply bored and want some entertainment in their life. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, but there could be a deeper meaning behind it as well.
There is the idea that women crave romance and relationships, and this is probably because society taught us at a young age that only a man can bring you happiness and save you from despair. We see this in stories such as Prince Charming rescuing Cinderella from her evil stepmother and sisters and living happily ever after.
So we may go looking for someone to “save us” from our lives, and usually whoever gives us the right amount of attention at the right time is that lucky person.
What’s the difference between a delusionship and situationship?
A delusionship is very different from a situationship, where there is actually a “situation” (or a little bit of a give-and-take) between two people who are attracted to each other. A situationship is the awkwardness between a casual hookup and a committed relationship. You may even do everything a couple does, but you just don’t have that title yet because of complications, such as a fear of commitment.
They’re two different levels of connections, delusionships usually being much lower on the scale.
How do i stop a delusionship from taking over my life?
First tip: always make time for yourself! Don’t give up all your free time to this person because then you’re missing out on self-care and are doing yourself a disservice. Engage in your hobbies or meditate; just let your mind breathe and take some space.
Second tip: try to set time aside for your friends and family, and avoid talking about the situation. Just enjoy your time with other people that also have an important role in your life. All kinds of love exist, and there is more to life than just romance.
Last tip: remind yourself that this is just another person. People come and go and what’s meant for you will be! The only thing making them special is you and your capacity to care about another person!
So many people are guilty of pursuing a delusionship, including me, so don’t feel embarrassed! It just shows how much love you have to give and how excited you are to share it. Just remember to have some fun with it!