What I Wish I Knew About Dorm Life Before I Came to College

My freshman year experience was just like anybody else’s: getting used to being away from home, taking exciting classes, and meeting a lot of new people. During your first year, a lot of the new people you meet are other students who live in your dorm. I wish somebody had told me how incredibly important some of these relationships would become. If there’s one piece of advice I could give to anybody living in a dorm room, it would be to make these new relationships early on. They could change your life. 

I feel incredibly lucky in that I had an amazing first-year dorm experience, and I owe that entirely to three people, the first being my roommate. 

Your roommate can essentially make or break your living experience, so I recommend getting off on the right foot as soon as you can. My roommate and I had known each other from home but weren’t close friends until we moved up to school and started living together. We took a quiz before we moved in that asked us basic shared-living situation questions to make sure we were compatible. This included things like sleep schedules, study time, and our guest policy (if you don’t want any unwanted overnight guests, make sure that’s clear; like, really clear). 

If you’re meeting your roommate on Facebook or another online method where you won’t meet them before moving in together, I recommend doing some bonding activities to get to know each other right away! The longer you wait to bond, the more awkward it will get. There are some great on-campus opportunities, like painting pottery in the Askew Student Life Center or spending a day hanging out at the Rez. Speaking from experience, both are really fun ways to get to know each other better. 

My roommate and I had similar schedules and routines, which helped us establish a great dynamic. Not only did we live together well, but she ultimately became one of my best friends. I know my college experience would be so much worse if I hadn’t had her in it, and I can’t imagine a freshman year experience without her. 

However, I know that becoming best friends with your roommate is not always possible. At the very least, try to be civil; whether you like it or not, your roommate is going to be a part of your life. You might as well try to make it a pleasant experience, and getting to know them better can only help. 

Besides bonding with your roommate, the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to become friends with your suitemates. Having an awkward relationship with the people you share a bathroom with can make the whole dorm experience so much worse. I have heard so many horror stories about suitemates who clogged the shower drain, never replaced the toilet paper, and never cleaned up after themselves.

Even if you don’t become best friends with your suitemates, having even a polite and casual relationship with them can make things so much smoother. During one of the first few days of classes, get their numbers and invite them out for pizza or something equally casual, but fun. It’s a great way to break the ice and start forming a new relationship. And if you end up not being compatible with them? Then at least you tried. You have nothing to lose from trying to befriend them, and so much to gain if it works out. 

I can honestly say that I had the best suitemates in the world, and to this day they are some of my favorite people. I never had sisters growing up, but I think my freshman-year living situation is as close as I will ever come. They made my college experience so much richer, and I have never regretted having them in my life. 

I had an amazing dorm experience, but I know a lot of people for whom that was not the case, and most of the time it was either because they had issues with their roommates or suitemates. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you end up having either a roommate or suitemates that you just cannot get along with. If you’re having serious issues, don’t be afraid to tell your RA what’s going on. They are there to help you, and you deserve to live in an environment you feel safe in.

The three women I lived with during freshman year brought so much joy into my life during a time when so much was uncertain and new. Having that support system in my life made my college transition so much smoother. I will always recommend that new students try to build these relationships as early as possible. Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet your new best friends like I did. 

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