I am officially about 2 weeks out from graduating from college. This is a day I felt like I would never actually get to, and I have a lot of mixed feelings. On the one hand, I am so excited to reach this milestone as all my hard work has paid off. On the other hand, I am scared to no longer be a student. It is crazy to think my formal schooling, which I have been in since kindergarten without a break, is over. One thing is at the forefront of my mind: time to grow up.
Now technically, I have been an “adult” since I was 18. I don’t think I am the only person that totally does not think that age should be considered an adult, but you are really just an older child. You still have no idea what you are doing with your life and are still trying to find your place in the world. I am now 22, and I feel the same. On the internet recently, I have seen the term “teenager in your 20s” which emphasizes the concept that people in their early and mid-twenties still feel like they are teenagers. I 100% relate to this. While I have changed so much through college and grown as a person, I still feel like a teenager that just makes better decisions and is less hormonal. I don’t know if we ever reach the point where we feel like an adult, but I know I am definitely not there yet. As a college student, I feel like people give you a lot of grace. People understand that you are on your own for the first time and are just getting used to freedom and living without your parents. Now that I am graduating, there is no longer that excuse of being a student. You are thrown into the world without a life raft.
Graduating is such a huge accomplishment, but, for some, college was some of the best years of their life. It was for me. Before college, I went to a small Christian high school in Tennessee. I was basically in a bubble, and there were only 70 kids in my graduating class. I had not experienced much of the world and did not have many good, life-long friends, basically because there weren’t a lot of people to choose from. I then moved to Fort Worth to come to TCU knowing basically no one. I got to meet all sorts of people and found good friends and a great sorority, and I finally felt plugged in with people who truly cared about me. That’s why I hate for this time to end. All my friends are moving to different places and we will never all be in the same place again. Once again, I will be starting over. I once again am moving to a city where I don’t know many people, and this time, I don’t have a school community to bring me friends, but just a real job. It is hard to trust that I will get as lucky as I was here at TCU and find an amazing friend group again in the real world.
Graduating is saying goodbye to a lot of things. You say goodbye to your first apartment, your friends, classes, professors, college sports teams, your favorite dingy little college bar, and the college experience itself. Life will never be this simple (probably) ever again. That is hard to accept, even though we all have no money of our own and are still probably on our parent’s insurance, college was fun. But, you cannot live like this forever. You have to let this time in your life be what it was: a stepping stone to bigger and better things. A fun and crazy stepping stone, but a time in your life where you got to grow and figure out what you want your life to look like. While it’s hard to say goodbye, there was a purpose to the college experience that slowly let you transition from childhood to adulthood.
One thing I have had to wrap my head around is that ending college does not mean my social life is dead! I feel like this is a common thing for me and many others to think about. I am losing the ability to hang out with my friends all in the same place. I will no longer be an active member of my sorority. My sorority especially has made me feel connected socially, and it is scary to think about not being close to all these women every week. You can still find groups like this. Just because you won’t be going to college frat parties anymore doesn’t mean adults don’t have fun. It might be fewer and farther between that you go to parties or out to the bars, but it’s not over. You don’t suddenly become old and decrepitate at the ripe age of 22-years-old. You have so much life in front of you and so many years of youth. There are so many different kinds of groups you can find and get involved in like a gym, a pickleball league, a church, a book club, or you can just find a bar or coffee shop where you can become a regular. There are so many ways in adulthood to get connected, you just have to try harder.
Graduating is so daunting, but these are the things I have been thinking about and the ways I have calmed these nervous feelings. Maybe I am being overly optimistic about adulthood and leaving college, but I truly do believe there is a brighter future ahead, even with my concerns. I know I can start over and find my place in the world again because I have done it before. I did it before without the new wisdom I have learned and all the ways I have grown as a person. I did it a lot younger and dumber. I am ready for this new adventure while also being beyond grateful for my time in college. I will always cherish this time for bringing me amazing friends and amazing experiences. Now, it’s time to move on. If anyone is looking for a new friend in Austin, TX, I am ready to tackle adulthood with you.