Sparks were flying on the 4th of July, and it wasn’t just because of the fireworks. Keke Palmer was the name on everyone’s lips following a tweet posted by her partner (and father of her son), Darius Daulton, publicly shaming her. Let’s take a look at what happened, what was said and what I think this means for women and mothers in this generation.
Disclaimer: I am aware that not all femme-bodied individuals identify as ‘women’, and that sexual identity is not a prerequisite for being a parent/caretaker. Keke Palmer (who is fluid) is in a heterosexual relationship and is the point of reference in this particular article.
In celebration of the 4th of July, Keke Palmer attended Usher’s Vegas residency show with a few friends. The Nope star donned a sheer Givenchy dress and thong bodysuit. Usher serenaded her, and a video of this was posted on Twitter, to which Darius had something to say.
“It’s the outfit tho…you a mom” – Darius Daulton via Twitter, 7 July 2023
Naturally, what followed was a frenzy of tweets. Most of which were people coming in defence of Palmer. Daulton then posted another tweet the following day.
“We live in a generation where a man of the family doesn’t want the wife & mother to his kids to showcase booty cheeks to please others & he gets told how much of a hater he is. This is my family & my representation. I have standards & morals to what I believe. I rest my case.” – Darius Daulton via Twitter, 8 July 2023
All the buzz immediately caught my eye and I found myself feeling quite upset for several reasons. Firstly, I was upset by the fact that he felt the need to publicly embarrass his partner in this manner. If Daulton felt uncomfortable about his girlfriend’s outfit, he could have expressed this to her privately.
Secondly, and probably most importantly, are the societal implications of this. I have seen this time and time again, not just with celebrities but even with close friends of mine, where the man in the relationship dictates how the woman should dress, behave and even who she may and may not talk to. This is an issue deeply rooted in the patriarchy. The way in which anyone dresses does not make them any less human and the way that Keke Palmer dresses does not make her any less of a mother. This applies to all mothers.
A point that I feel is necessary to be made is that women do not dress for men but instead to make themselves feel good. Daulton’s Tweet painted Palmer as a promiscuous woman, wearing ‘racy’ clothing to attract other men’s eyes. A mother is allowed to still feel sexy and express this. To say that women have to dress ‘respectably’ after having children is a notion created by men, placing women in a box that strips them of expressing their sexuality and I feel we are too far in this wave of feminism to think that’s okay.
Palmer has not publicly addressed these posts and she doesn’t have to. The only crime she committed was how good she looked in that dress.