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The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz, is a popular self-help book that teaches readers about four meaningful agreements to live by. The guide is based on Toltec Wisdom and is meant to help readers end personal beliefs that subconsciously limit them in everyday life. My professor strongly urged us to read it, and it was life-changing! “Don’t make assumptions” is the third, and my favorite, agreement I try to live by daily.
Making assumptions is something that we often do without realizing. An example of making an assumption is if you had run out of eggs and your significant other came back from the grocery store without eggs. You assumed your significant other noticed you ran out of eggs, so you didn’t request it, and now you’re upset. That disappointment may even lead you to think that they don’t care or worry about your needs, but that’s not the case. How was your significant other supposed to know you needed eggs if you didn’t say anything? That’s making an assumption, and it leaves you feeling disappointed and upset. When, in reality, you’re setting yourself up to feel that way.
I had a personal experience with making assumptions that left me disappointed once, but this happened before I read The Four Agreements. I asked my friend to pick me up from a late-night shift at work and she said she would be able to. Since I was under the impression that she would stay up late and pick me up, I was upset to find out she had fallen asleep, and I had to find another ride. I lived with that disappointment for a while and lost a little bit of trust. But after reading The Four Agreements, I learned that I had made an assumption. I had a personal agreement that everyone should pick friends up when they commit to it, but that was just a reflection of something I would do. You can’t assume people have the same beliefs and personal agreements as you; that’s what leaves you disappointed.
If you don’t make assumptions and you communicate what you think and feel with honesty, you will never be disappointed. If you practice telling yourself daily, “Don’t make assumptions,” you’ll find yourself suffering much less and seeing the world in a new light. Reading the full book, The Four Agreements, will save you a lot of time and stress in your life!