This was not always the plan, nor was it ever going to be. I mean, there never actually was a set in stone plan, but this is not at all what I had originally envisioned. Come post high school graduation I didn’t know what the future had in store for me. I knew college was the next step, but that’s as far as it went. I always figured that I would just go and have my college experience and then the future would just continue to write itself. And I mean it did, just not how I would have pictured it.
The summer before freshman year of college is always full of mixed emotions. Nerves, fear, excitement, anticipation: every student goes through their own mix of them. Looking at myself, I was definitely sad to be leaving my family, and my dog, of course, but I honestly couldn’t stop counting down the days to finally be moved in. I had this image in my mind that come the first semester, I would right away find my forever friends, I would be the perfect straight A student, I would be involved in as many clubs as possible, and it would just be the best year ever. I know, I know, those are silly expectations, but those were my big hopes of starting this new and exciting chapter of my life. Well. I’m here to report that the complete opposite had happened. In fact, worse than the complete opposite had happened. While my grades did stay within that first letter of the alphabet region, everything else was just lacking.
Going into college I knew it was going to be a rollercoaster, full of challenges and low moments, but I could not have ever imagine that it would go that downhill. I can’t even fathom the amount of tears that shed down my face; I can’t even begin to count all the texts sent home; I can’t even express the anger and annoyance I felt; I can’t even explain the treatment I got from some people there. It is still so hard to put together the right words to describe that entire year.
Don’t get me wrong, there were moments in which I can look back and say I truly enjoyed, like the trips to the amusement park or those late night scavenger hunt games with a small group of friends. Unfortunately, those moments are hidden within a year of bad memories that they don’t always stand out as much as they should. And to add on to the fire, it also didn’t help that I wasn’t ever passionate about the major I was in and always had doubts about it.
I used to think there was hope, that it all would eventually get better. I can’t begin to tell you how many students from other grades and schools I have heard say that they themselves had a rough freshman year, but the conversation would almost always end with that it only gets better. I wanted to believe that, and I am happy it did for them; however, I just didn’t see that happening for me where I was at. The roads were bumpier than I thought, and I knew it was time to take a detour.
If you had told me two years ago when I graduated from high school I would be where I am at, I would be beyond confused. Transferring schools is not something that was ever on my bucket list, yet sometimes you have to take a leap of faith to get you to where you belong.
The emotions coming into sophomore year were a little different as they had been the previous years. I was nervous that I had made the wrong decisions. I was scared this year would be a copy of last. I was worried that nothing would ever go right. Even with all these thoughts in mind, I could not be happier with the decision I made. I know it is still early in the semester, but these first few weeks are already 10x better than an entire year was at my last college.
I have already found different ways to get involved, from fencing to Her Campus to joining a sorority, and I have already made so many fun memories with friends from getting off campus to movie nights to just enjoying a meal in one of the many dining halls around. Plus, I am already feeling more confident in the change in major as well. This isn’t saying there won’t be those low moments of the year and times I’d rather be home and not at school; however knowing I was able to overcome whatever freshman year was, I know I can get through anything this year has in store.
This year is a year I have nothing put positive vibes for. It is a year of new beginnings and new memories and a whole new mindset. And I cannot be more excited to see myself grow here at this new school, which I shouldn’t even use the word new anymore, because it is now my school.
Now, here I am. At a completely different school with a completely fresh start. Finally happy at my home away from home. My new “new home.”
:) Christine