Being an 18 to 22-year-old, especially on a college campus, is one of the most unrecognized acts of bravery a woman can accomplish. Feminine despair and rage are likely in full-swing, and the pain and beauty that accompany them deserve a little underscoring.
If you’re 19 and on fire, here are 13 songs I recommend.
- “Love, try not to let go” by julia jacklin
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Julia Jacklin’s “Love Try Not to Let Go” paints a portrait of despair; her lyricism and word painting reflect an oscillation between the desire for love and connection, and the urge to detach and isolate oneself.
“The echo of that party
The night I lost my voice
The silence that surrounds it
No longer feels like a choice
I need you to believe me
When I say I find it hard
To keep myself from floating away.” - “girls against god” by Florence and the Machine
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This song is from one of my favorite albums of all time, “Dance Fever” by Florence and the Machine.
“Girls Against God” showcases Florence Welch’s consistently devastating lyricism. It captures the experience of feeling like one amongst billions screaming into the void.
“And I know I may not look like much
Just another screaming speck of dust
But, oh God, you’re gonna get it
You’ll be sorry that you messed with us.” - “dream girl evil” by florence and the machine
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“Dream Girl Evil” is a song in opposition to the way men dichotomize women. This song is riddled with religious allusions and commentary on the ways in which men project their fantasies onto women. In my opinion, it is some of Florence’s best work.
“Am I your dream girl?
You think of me in bed
But you could never hold me
And like me better in your head
Make me evil, then I’m an angel instead
At least you’ll sanctify me when I’m dead.” - “posing for cars” by japanese breakfast
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Japanese Breakfast’s “Posing For Cars” showcases the experience of and capacity for loneliness even when in a relationship.
“Woke from a dream in which you’d left me
Posing for cars on the American stoop
Don’t make me beg you just because you can
I’m just a woman with a loneliness
I’m just a woman with needs.”The song ends with a three-minute instrumental that sounds like the feeling of emotional turmoil.
- “Norman f*cking rockwell” by Lana del Ray
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“Norman F*cking Rockwell” is the first song on Lana’s 2019 album of the same name. It gives voice to the fatigue resulting from having to accept the shortcomings of men:
“Goddamn, man child
You act like a kid even though you stand six foot two
Self-loathing poet, resident Laurel Can-you-know-it-all
You talk to the walls when the party gets bored of you
But I don’t get bored, I just see it through
Why wait for the best when I could have you?” - “Get free” by Lana del ray
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“Get Free” is a reclamation of agency. It is the final song of Lana’s 2017 album “Lust For Life,” leaving the listener with a message of optimism and an urge to abandon false notions of security.
“Sometimes it feels like I’ve got a war in my mind
I wanna get off, but I keep riding the ride
I never really noticed that I had to decide
To play someone’s game, or live my own life
And now I do
I wanna move
Out of the black
Into the blue.”The song ends with an ethereal instrumental that is mixed with bird sounds. It is the album’s light at the end of the tunnel.
- “fever dream” by mxmtoon
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Much like Lana’s “Get Free,” “Fever Dream” by mxmtoon is about wanting more out of life as opposed to just getting by, or living your life in accordance to the rules of someone else’s game.
“I want something more than
More than restless mornings
Getting by’s so boring
Ah-ooh, ah-ooh
Take your time, enjoy it
Every fleeting moment
Getting by’s so boring
Ah-ooh, ah-ooh.”There is a carefree nature to the melody of this song that is refreshing. It is a reminder to never settle.
- “I hate u” by sza
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“I Hate U” is a masterpiece because it does exactly what it needs to do phenomenally well. SZA, as she so often does, has artfully pinpointed the anguish of being wronged.
“And if you wondered if I hate you (I do)
Sh*tty of you to make me feel just like this
What I would do to make you feel just like this
And if you wondered if I hate you (f*ck you)
Sh*tty of you to make me feel just like this
What I would do to make you feel just like this.”Sometimes someone hurts you and it feels so awful that you want to watch the world burn. SZA has put it as plainly as it can possibly be phrased. If you think I hate you, rest assured that I do.
- “Charm you” by samia
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In “Charm You,” Samia is painfully aware of the temporariness of what it means to be desirable as a woman.
“Half life of my mystifying isn’t long enough for trying
I don’t wanna charm anyone this time
I don’t wanna make anybody mine
Mostly it’s just I don’t wanna end up crying
I don’t wanna charm you.”She puts words to the feeling of wanting to feel enough as an individual, separate from a romantic attachment.
- “oom sha la la” by haley heynderickx
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“Oom Sha La La” revolves around the concept of anxiety surrounding the passage of time.
“The milk is sour
I’ve barely been to college
And I’ve been doubtful
Of all that I have dreamed of
The brink of my existence essentially is a comedy
The gap in my teeth and all that I can cling to.”A lack of direction or motivation, the questioning of one’s life choices and all-consuming pessimism are utterly normal but devastating experiences. As the song progresses, Heynderick develops a sense of urgency and hysteria in her lyrics and composition.
- “good heart” by indigo de souza
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“Good Heart” tackles the experience of desperately trying to believe in someone or something, even if it seems like all hope is lost.
“Oh I want to believe that you’ve got a good heart
Oh I want to believe in some things
I happen to read on the inside of fortune cookies
I want to say no when I’m offered a hit and it ruins my weekend
I’m nothing but trouble, watching you sleep
Brushing your teeth and laughing at me
I’m nothing but trouble, baby believe in me.” - “concussion” by girlhouse
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In the opening verse of “Concussion,” the speaker has just been in a car accident, and even then can only think about the person they’re hung up on.
“That woman, hit my Honda Civic
Called me a b*tch when she did it
Now I’m spread out on the ground
Fire man can’t hold me down
But I’m questioning and thinking
Of the last time that I think I saw ya.”Girlhouse puts words to the experience of being unable to take your mind off of someone or something that seems small in comparison to other events in your life, but are enormously consequential and devastating to you.
- “A mistake” by fiona apple
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“A Mistake” is about resistance, defiance and self-sabotage — wanting to do right by others without being forced to answer to anyone.
“I’m gonna make a mistake
I’m gonna do it on purpose
I’m gonna waste my time
‘Cause I’m full as a tick
And I’m scratching at the surface
And what I find is mine.”
It’s a war zone out there, but you’re doing a great job. Happy listening!