Throughout high school, we dream of college. We think about the new person we’ll reinvent ourselves as, our streamlined career, and our now perfect social lives. But as a graduating senior, I’ve come to see that many of my high-set expectations are not the reality of the college experience. Here are some common expectations of the college experience, and how these dreams actually play out. (Hint: They won’t necessarily play out as you planned, but everything happens how it should.)
Making Friends
Expectation: “I’m going to get to college and immediately meet my future bridesmaids!”
Reality: Making friends can be difficult in college, but completely worth the effort.
When starting freshman year, I had high expectations that I would make a giant group of friends in the first week and we would be besties for life. This isn’t always the case. To make friends, you need to put yourself out there and seek out opportunities to meet others. You WILL make those best friends you dream of, but you have to put in the work.
Being Away From Your Parents
Expectation: “I’m finally away from my parents nagging me and controlling my life!”
Reality: In college, you may need your parents more than ever before.
In high school, you can’t wait to get to college so you can act without having to hear from your parents every step of the way. But once you get there, you realize that half of the time, your parents were probably right. More than that, you begin to seek their opinions on many decisions. Being away from your family presents clarity that their nagging comes from the best intentions.
Career building
Expectation: “I’m going to get to college and know exactly what I’ll do in the future!”
Reality: Figuring out your future career and the path to getting there is extremely non-linear.
When entering college, you feel like you’re taking the next step toward your future, which you are! But college is a time for exploration. You may choose your major and feel like it’s not the right fit or you may begin an internship and realize the experience isn’t what you thought it would be. These are all very normal experiences to have. College is the time to explore your options and it’s okay to not have it all figured out immediately.
New Identities
Expectation: “I’m going to get to college and immediately find myself!”
Reality: You won’t automatically become a dream version of yourself just because you’ve left high school.
Leaving high school, many people look to college as a time to reinvent themselves. They see limitless opportunities to explore new interests and embrace a new attitude during this phase of life. While this idea of finding yourself during college years can be true, it’s not an immediate process upon starting college. Rather than expecting to find yourself right away, it’s important to be open to trying new things and being authentically who you are. That’s what will eventually lead to seeing a reflection of your true identity.
College may not perfectly align with the idealized version we have in our heads when leaving high school, but that is okay and normal. When entering college, it’s important to be open-minded and ready to learn. By releasing expectations of how the college experience “should” be, you leave room to learn, grow, and have a wonderful four years.
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