The mind of a overachiever who craves academic validation
When I was 16, I had the goal of being successful at 21. Just like when you see these movies where high schoolers graduate, go to college, meet the love of their life, get a job, the perfect house, kids– that was my lifetime goal. If Elle Woods was able to be successful around that age, why couldn’t I do the same? Of course she had her setbacks, but she did it: the degree, the guy; who wouldn’t want that? I made a timeline to make sure I had this done. There was nothing that would get in my way to achieve this, after all, if you work hard you will get everything you want in life, right?
- If you work hard enough, you will get into college
That’s right, I did everything to get accepted into college. I spent my high school years studying, focusing on getting a good college board score, everything to get into the program I wanted. Eventually, I did it, and that’s when I realized I completed the first step to be the person I wanted to be at 21.
- Get into associations
My first semester of college I made sure to study hard. I wouldn’t have time to visit my parents back home, but that’s fine, it’s better for them to be proud of me than to see me constantly to the point of failing and being a disappointment. I wouldn’t hang out, because who needs people when you’re walking through a path of success?
- Internship
I joined an association because I learned I can become a better leader, this will help me prove myself and after all, having good grades isn’t enough, right? These are the experiences that will actually help me get an internship, get my ticket to graduate school and then the job I want.
- Internship
Since my first year of college I started getting into mock interviews, crafting my resume, collecting experiences, because when I’m 21, I will be happy, I will finally have a job because by working hard I will get everything I want.
Well-
There was a little setback, you see… I kept receiving letters of rejection.
Until I saw the light and got an internship in research! This would be the bingo card in my resume to get me an industrial internship that would turn into a full time job.
- Grad School
I will start applying to grad school to start studying because having a PhD has always been my goal.
- Graduate in 5 years
This is very important because I cannot stay behind if the curriculum was designed that way. It means that it is the bare minimum! If I’m going to do something, I have to do it right. After all, I cannot start my life after 21, by that moment I need to have a house.
Reality:
I’m 21 right now and well… This is how it’s going
- If you work hard enough, you will get in college
I thought that once I got into college I would feel like my life was figured out and I would feel happy, but it just made me feel even more lost. It is important to have goals and ambitions, but using this as a source of happiness, thinking that reaching that deadline will give you happiness instead of enjoying the journey is what takes you downhill.
- Get good grades
In my first semester of college I got a B, but hey, “that’s ok, it won’t happen again” it’s what I told myself.
Well, scratch that, I got a C, again, I told myself “but that’s okay, I can always repeat that class and get straight A’s from now on”
As much as I sacrificed my free time, I ended up getting B’s and C’s, which it’s scary but… it’s not the end of the world. I know it isn’t the case for everyone, and it’s exactly what we need to keep in mind, comparing ourselves, it’s just gonna make us get stuck, spiral and never actually be better. It’s about having a competition with you, and only you, everyday trying to surpass your own limits, not trying to run without standing.
- Get into associations
It’s amazing to get into associations. I have made great friends, have had some of the best experiences from college here, but you have to do it out of passion and not getting into more than you can just to fill a resume.
There was a moment in my life where I felt nothing but disappointment with myself because, instead of enjoying all the little things I was doing, I would focus on what I wasn’t doing.
“I’m not doing an internship.”
” I didn’t get into that position.”
“I didn’t.”
“I didn’t.”
“I didn’t.”
Why was I doing that to myself? How was I ever going to be happy if I was always going to be wanting more, instead of enjoying what I had and being open to new experiences?
- Internship
Once again- I focused on what I didn’t have. I ended up getting an internship in research, and I thought “This is great! FINALLY!”. However, there was a but-
“but even if I have worked so hard for these five years, I haven’t had the chance to work in the industry yet.”
I’m not gonna lie, that’s something that still bothers me to this day. I work on it by reminding myself that that’s ok, because I cannot keep putting limitations to my happiness. “I will be happy when I get an internship, a job, a house….”
- Grad School
I constantly contemplated the idea of pursuing graduate studies, as I was eager to define my academic path before turning 21. My ultimate goal was to complete my education early. However, I now realize that it’s perfectly fine if I haven’t figured out my exact path yet. I don’t have to commit to graduate studies at this moment, and that’s completely acceptable. Learning and personal growth have no set timeline, and I can continue to explore my interests, gain more experiences, and, when the time is right, decide whether graduate school is the right path for me. I don’t need to rush into becoming a PhD student at 21; I can keep evolving, understanding myself better, and pursuing different opportunities before considering graduate studies.
- Graduate in 5 years
I don’t know if I will graduate in five years because I realized I wanted to get working experience as a student before graduating. So who knows, I may graduate a semester later, and that’s no problem, because it is much more important to get to know myself than to just follow a timeline as if I’m a robot.
In these years, maybe I haven’t figured everything out but I have learned that I am TERRIBLE at predicting the future.
I love watching rom-coms and seeing how those main characters already have their lives figured out at 21 but I’ve come to realize that life doesn’t always follow the neatly scripted stories we see in movies. The journey to success and self-discovery is often a rocky path filled with unexpected turns and valuable lessons. While I may not have all the answers or my life completely figured out at 21, I’ve learned that it’s perfectly alright. Instead of rushing toward predefined goals, I’ve found greater happiness in getting to know myself, taking care of my well-being, and savoring life’s little moments. My timeline may not align with a movie script, but I’ve come to appreciate the beauty of embracing my unique journey and pursuing my goals with a kinder and more patient mindset. So, rather than focusing on having my life figured out by a specific age, I’m learning to love and accept myself at 21. And, as I’ve discovered, self-love knows no age limit. Here’s to the exciting, unpredictable adventure of life, and to the continuous journey of personal growth.