Being a sophomore in college with a part-time job, a full class load, extracurriculars, and a chronic condition, I find myself wondering — am I okay? In high school, I had an entire workday before classes even started. I was an opening barista, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 4 a.m. I worked until noon, had classes from noon until five, and then did a plethora of clubs and projects before working out and going to bed. Nowadays, I find it miraculous if I can manage to make it to an 8 a.m. course or find the motivation to go to the gym. So, what exactly changed?
My sophomore year of high school and my sophomore year of college follow the same routine, same job, same type of courses, and same side passions. The difference is that back then I was at home, used to a certain routine, and 16. Being 19 years old now, I am in no way saying I’m old (although my creaky joints would tell you differently). But it got me thinking: if I was thriving then, why am I not thriving now? Why do I feel overwhelmed, depleted of energy, and just simply exhausted from my day-to-day routine?
Honestly, I’m embarrassed by how long it took me to reach the answer to that question: I’m simply growing up. Adulting, if you will. Although on paper I am a full-fledged adult and have been for over a year, I surely don’t feel like one. I fully understand what people mean when they say age is just a number. Being 19 and trying to keep up with my 16-year-old self is what was killing me. So, when I continued to ask myself this year if I was okay, the simple answer was no, but I will be.Â
I began to reevaluate myself and my routine. Throughout my life I’ve been known to be in two places at once, a jack of all trades, or as my close friends would say, someone who takes on too much to handle. So, I took a step back and set up a list of priorities. I also became an avid user of Google Calendar and my planner to organize my classes and mess of requirements.
I have a chronic condition fueled by stress, so managing a heavy workload is not ideal. College classes are much harder than high school and being a STEM major, they require a lot more attention. Since I get overwhelmed easily and need social interaction, I decided to incorporate studying with socializing. Three times a week after my classes I go to a new coffee shop, bookstore, café, or park and do a few hours of homework with some friends. It gives me something to look forward to, plus extra motivation to go to class and be productive.
As for my job, I work on days I have to be up early anyway but take on shorter shifts so I’m not exhausted by the time I get to class. This also gives me an excuse to get a coffee (and for free I might add) to grind through my lectures.
Lastly, when it comes to my health and working out, I constantly change my routine to keep myself interested and motivated. Recently, I have loved hot yoga, biking, and lifting. Thankfully, Tallahassee is full of different gyms and classes to keep working out interesting. HOTWORX, Top Dog, and Crunch are my personal favorites, but there are so many other options that I haven’t even tried.
The biggest thing I’ve done to help is give myself grace. I realized it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to have bad days and take time for yourself. It’s okay to not know what you’re doing and have to call your mom every day because you still don’t know how to be an adult. It’s okay to be defeated. So, in the end, I know I’m okay, and I know I will continue to be.
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