Anyone who has done or is currently doing long distance knows how hard saying goodbye can be, no matter how long it will be until you see your partner next. It can be easy to wish things had worked out differently and that you had ended up living or going to school closer to your significant other.
As someone who is currently in their third year of doing long-distance with the end finally in sight, I can say that despite all the struggles, I’m glad I did long-distance. The beginning felt so incredibly hard, and I couldn’t tell if I would be able to take it. Long-distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. However, my partner and I have both grown in so many ways while we were apart that we probably wouldn’t have if we had been together in person these last three years. These are some of the reasons why I am glad I did long-distance, even if I didn’t always enjoy being apart.
Maintaining your identity and individuality
One of the great things about long-distance was that it forced me to maintain my identity and my individuality as a person separate from my partner. Often, when you are seeing your partner all the time, you may end up prioritizing their interests over yours or seeing them over your friends. While there is a time and place for both of those things on occasion, being apart gives you time and space to explore new opportunities and really learn about yourself without your relationship being your whole personality.
Following your own dreams and aspirations
Sometimes, your dreams and your partner’s dreams may not always align with your geographic location. For me personally, UCF was my dream school and something I didn’t want to give up just for the sake of being closer to my boyfriend. When you want the best for each other, that means allowing each other to go out and chase their dreams. I would never have asked him to move to another state for college for me, because I knew that forcing him to give up his dream school wouldn’t work either. Long-distance allows you and your partner to both follow your dreams when they don’t always line up with each other.
Learning how to communicate In Healthier Ways
Maintaining a long-distance relationship inherently relies on communication. The success of that relationship then relies heavily on healthy communication. I had a big issue with completely shutting down and going non-verbal when I felt very upset. Stonewalling was a hard habit for me to shake, but a necessary change. I’ve learned to better communicate when I need a little time to collect myself after being upset. This lets my partner know that I’m not intentionally ignoring him, while also allowing him to give me the space I need. Healthy communication is vital to any relationship, whether it’s platonic or romantic. Long-distance forced me (and is still forcing me) to correct these toxic communication habits.
Valuing Your time together more
When you have constant access to your partner, you may not appreciate that time together as much (not to say that seeing your partner all the time is a bad thing!). Counting down the days until I would see my partner next gave us both something to look forward to. My partner and I always cherished our time together more after going long-distance since we knew that our time was limited before being apart again. Even after all these years, I still feel like a kid on Christmas morning every time I get to see him.
Growing deeper in love with your partner
There’s not much about long-distance relationships that is easy. They demand your time, commitment, attention, and sacrifice. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you can lean on the fact that you and your partner aren’t just together because it’s convenient or easy. Rather, you’re together because you both are seriously invested in the relationship, no matter how far apart you are or for how long. Every day that I spend with my partner is a blessing, no matter how close or how far apart we are. I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
Long-distance is tough but so rewarding. As someone who is nearing the end of long-distance and finally planning to live with my partner after college graduation, I can say with complete certainty that it was worth it.