CW: This article discusses insecurity around body image and beauty standards.
Since I was young, I’ve encountered issues with my body. I was a very chubby child, but no one was super mean to me because of it; adults called me cute, and my peers didn’t bully me. Despite this, I could still tell I was different in a supposedly negative way. When you hear the same backhanded compliments so many times, it becomes apparent that society thinks there’s something wrong with you.
As I got older, I realized that appearances were important. People in the media, as well as my peers, valued things like being skinny, having long hair, and never having blemishes on their skin. So, when I didn’t satisfy those conditions, I felt less than regardless of the circumstance.
Society’s emphasis on women’s beauty
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but society still has a standard of who can be classified as beautiful and who cannot be. Sure, everyone is likely beautiful to someone, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be perceived as attractive to the general public. And, as women, our beauty has long been an integral part of how we’re perceived and valued. The standards continue to evolve: the goalpost is constantly moving. The common thread through these different body types and ideals has been that beauty is treated as a requirement for women. And when we fail to meet what others expect, we are deemed the opposite: ugly, unwanted, and worthless.
I quickly realized that I didn’t fit the beauty standards society holds women to. These standards are usually rooted in Eurocentrism, so I’ve gradually let them go as I get further into adulthood. However, it’s difficult not to internalize those beliefs regardless of knowing their origin.
Beauty standards, of course, apply to men as well. They are also seen as better if they’re a certain weight or height or have specific facial features. The critical difference, though, is that men are usually allowed to be “ugly” as long as they can make up for it in other areas. For example, being funny, smart, or kind can outweigh the flaws in their appearance. This is not a luxury afforded to women, so I will primarily focus on the experience of women and feminine-presenting individuals in this discussion.
Body positivity
With its roots in the Fat Acceptance Movement, the body positivity movement is an effort to stand against beauty standards. It encourages people to love their bodies regardless of how they look. The body positivity movement is meant to make people see the beauty in what society has deemed flaws and question them instead of trying to fit the standard. Many things, like stretch marks and blemishes, have been reframed as beautiful traits that do not detract from a person’s beauty.
What I enjoy about the BPM is that it aims to oppose how society has taught people to perceive themselves, especially women. This is really important, as many people’s self-esteem can diminish based on how society views them. It can be vital for people to love themselves and how they look despite dominant attitudes, and that’s the beauty of body positivity.
One issue I had with body positivity, however, was how overwhelming it felt when I didn’t love my body. I felt like I was just pretending to be satisfied with how I looked to defy beauty standards. It led to a weird sense of resentment towards all these messages telling me to love my body when it was very clear that I didn’t. Not to mention, it seemed like there was only a specific body type uplifted in the movement: able-bodied, white, and curvy. It felt like it was falling into the Eurocentric standards I was trying to oppose but with a slight twist.
Body neutrality
Another movement you may have heard in conversations about body image is body neutrality. Body neutrality means taking a neutral stance with regard to one’s body and not valuing ourselves based on appearance. In this view, one doesn’t have to love or hate one’s body. Instead, they are appreciative of all the body does to keep itself alive and functioning.
This mindset was easier for me to accept: my body works hard to keep me alive, and whatever opinions I have about the exterior aren’t that important. Of course, this doesn’t mean disregarding my hygiene or outer appearance altogether — I’ve just stopped using it to determine my self-worth. My updated attitude has been especially helpful in working out, as I no longer focus on looking a certain way but on being healthier overall.
This way, I can focus on the inside, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Why body neutrality can be a better option
Body neutrality has helped me disentangle my self-worth from my external appearance. I have had fun understanding more of myself and my value beyond the outside.
However, body neutrality does have its drawbacks. It can run into the same problems as body positivity: you can feel like you’re faking it or are forcing yourself to be okay with your body.
Although the body positivity movement has good intentions, I’ve realized it didn’t work for me. Of course, attitudes toward our bodies are deeply personal, and I won’t tell others how to view themselves. I’ve found neutrality to be more useful and less mentally taxing, but that won’t be the case for everyone. You could even use a combination of both if that makes more sense for you. I wish you all the best, and I hope this article has helped you better understand these body-acceptance movements.