After my freshman year, I decided to make the executive decision to start commuting to school rather than living on campus. At first, I was excited about easing my homesickness and most importantly saving money to put towards an apartment after I graduate. However, socially, I feel worse than ever.
Growing up, I never was the most social person when it came to being in a school environment. I would wake up, go to school, and keep to myself until the seventh period bell rang which signaled that I could finally go home.
I decided to break out of that shell in college and create a new, socially flourishing version of myself. I felt comfortable making friends in all of my classes who shared common interests with me. Yet, once I became a commuter, I no longer had that same urge to share connections with people I only see for four hours a week.
When people think about life in college, they think about inclusion, doing whatever you want, making new friends, and building connections. Don’t get me wrong, you can definitely achieve those ideas while living off-campus, but it makes it way harder to feel included in the university social sphere while living at home.
Realistically, it is completely out of the question to commute to campus on days you do not have class to attend a thirty-minute college event and must go back home hopefully before rush hour hits. Also, commuting is an expense that adds up in the long run. Me specifically, I drive to school twice a week. There is gas, parking pass costs, car repair costs that randomly pop up with the increase of driving and much more. My other route would be taking the train, but it also could be costly buying the train tickets and having to pay to park my car at the station. On top of that, the train station late at night is not the most comfortable place to be.
Usually after coming home from class, I like to rewind in my room and scroll through my social media. I scroll through my feed and all I see is my peers at Temple enjoying lunch at Richie’s with their friends or getting ready for their late night in the city or parties near campus. I feel happy that people are being able to enjoy their time in college, but deep-down I debate if I am missing out on the stereotypical, proper college experience.
I wanted to make sure that I graduated college debt free and knew in the back of my mind that commuting would be the best bet to making sure I achieve that goal. It would lessen my yearly costs and also help me balance both school and work. However, I do not feel connected with college at all when it comes to achieving anything other than my academic career.
You might be thinking: “Why you don’t just approach people or join clubs to make friends and feel connected with the college community?” The hard answer is I do not know. Even though I am physically on campus, my now reawakened social anxiety from high school is creeping back into my life and is preventing me from being the people-pleasing person I was my freshman year.
I wake up, drive an hour to school, come home, repeat. Three days out of the week I work nine hours shifts at my job where I disassociate and help customers look and feel good when picking out their makeup for a bridal party or Halloweekend. I battle myself constantly with how I am not trying enough or if I should just bite the bullet and pay the extra to live on campus even though it would only be a temporary solution to my long-term problems.
There is no easy solution to feeling left out of the social sphere and the main component of college life. I do like to think about the fact I am not the only college student that feels that way. I have come across dozens of fellow people who drive, bike, or take the train to campus as a cheaper alternative. Building friendships with other commuters could help reduce the constant feeling of being alone and being there for each other instead.