On July 9th of this year, I got engaged, and oh man, when people tell you it’s one of the most exciting days of your life, it really was for me. It was the most perfect proposal and I would say that I’ve adjusted to life as a fiancée. I couldn’t be more grateful for my fiancé, and although our wedding will be after I complete grad school in a couple years, I’m stoked to make the plans. Amidst all the joy, however, I’ve experienced some peculiar social changes in my college life.
When most people think of people engaged in college, it’s probably in regards to the infamous “Ring By Spring” phenomenon at Christian colleges, or maybe the cute story of how someone’s parents got engaged at the end of their degrees. So when I got engaged this July, I felt elated – and also like it would make things feel different on campus. Many older students who might be returning to school might be married or even have children, and it’s seen as normal. But when you’re freshly 22, almost everybody’s got an opinion.
The first thing I expected but still am not used to is the “What? You’re engaged? But you’re so young!” comments from older family members or friends. The second is from some of my same-aged peers, who occasionally comment “It’s so weird knowing someone who’s engaged.” Although everyone moves through milestones at different rates, and there’s ultimately no obligation to hit those milestones at all, these comments still make you feel as though you’re either the odd one out. Worse, in the case of the first statement, it’s being implied that you’re making a big mistake, which is not exactly the energy you want when you’re riding the high of a new relationship level.
Like others, I don’t talk about my relationship much with people for many reasons, but casually just saying “Oh, I did this with my fiancé” in a conversation sometimes can be enough for a comment. Of course, they’re not all negative; indeed, my fiancé and I have received an abundance of love and support, and most comments are “Congratulations!” if it’s a friend who wasn’t aware. But even the smallest bit of “Oh, you’re so young” can feel off-putting in a way that might not even be intended by the speaker.
However, the biggest plus of being engaged in college, second only to the fact that I get to marry my favorite person, is being able to flash my ring at any guy who tries to come on to me. It’s the ultimate talk-to-the-hand.
