A photo is no longer just a photo. Under the scrutiny of the modern eye, an extra meal, a hand in frame or even a shadow goes beyond the pixels. What once was full-face images of you and your boo has evolved into carefully crafted social media posts for your friends to play detective. But why on Earth has this become so prominent in recent years? Why is it that when the topic is discussed among my friends, everyone seems to hold a differing opinion? And most importantly, when will my opportunity for a soft launch arise!
Private but not secret
The whole “private but not secret” phenomenon is what initially comes to my mind, especially when considering the effects of the pandemic. With lockdown, relationships were truly tested in 2020. I remember being shocked that the power couple from my highschool could no longer flood my feed with the most flashy “look at my relationship” photos. I cannot tell you how many couples in front of Dana Point’s infamous “Merry Kiss Me” sign I’ve scrolled past before COVID (but that’s a whole other conversation).
Suddenly, with the interruption of a global pandemic, relationships were tested to survive in intimate settings. Couples who were quarantined together became more vulnerable with one another, allowing for richer and deeper connections. In my opinion, this shaped how we view relationships since it’s no longer easy to believe that every seemingly perfect relationship was thriving only with the evidence of an Instagram post.
This forced proximity set the priorities one looks for in a relationship, and protected these intertwined bonds. Thus, the idea of proving your relationship diminished significantly when everyone was in the same boat, six feet apart, of course.
That leads to the obsession with a soft launch. When you think about it, is there really any point in allowing the world to see you and your partner’s every move?
Testing the Waters
Imagine you’ve been casually dating someone for a couple of months. Perhaps you haven’t discussed exclusivity, or your all too familiar commitment issues are preventing you from posting that full-blown selfie of you two, why wouldn’t you soft launch? It’s uncomfortable to acknowledge, but if you aren’t 100% sure of the relationship, then a soft launch could prove to be a dip in the water.
Additionally, rushing into a relationship by hard-launching could be a source of regret when misunderstandings come into play. Maybe there’s a difference in expectations, thus bringing up the difficult conversation starting with “Wait, what are we?” By allowing a relationship to grow slowly, a stronger foundation is built, paving the way for a long-lasting, successful relationship.
In a way, we’re incredibly lucky to be able to explore romantic partners before finding The One (or not, because that has also changed, an individual can lead a perfectly happy and successful life without the need of finding a spouse). If you think about the past, let’s say, Pride and Prejudice era since I will use any excuse to bring up Jane Austen, characters like Jane Bennet or Elizabeth Bennet must make a public doting commitment for the rest of their lives to Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy, respectively. It’s a much more high-pressure environment where you are unable to fully survey the state of a relationship before pledging loyalty.
Maintaining Excitement Within The Relationship
I’ll say it: they don’t call it The Honeymoon Phase for nothing. The excitement that is initially present in a relationship tends to dwindle over time, which isn’t to say that there is something wrong–it’s natural! The idea of a soft launch, or generally taking it slower, builds momentum between you and your partner. It allows both parties to savor the excitement of falling in love while keeping it lowkey enough to confirm if this compatibility works.
Do People Actually Care?
Does it matter if people care? I believe that social media is what you make of it, whether that be to overshare every aspect of your life or to lurk and see what others are up to. There is arguably nothing wrong with shedding as little or as much light as you would like on your relationship, as long as you are staying true and genuine to yourself. People will always find something to complain about, so you might as well explore for yourself! Put yourself first, and others will be inspired by your self-assuredness.