People. If I had to talk about my experience so far, I would talk about the people I’ve met. Only people who experienced it can actually understand how challenging being an exchange student is, especially if you’re struggling with your mental health like I am.
When I first arrived in Leeds I was completely alone, after a long solo travel I found myself in an unknown place, away from home and from my loved ones. I had to face the world relying exclusively on myself, the person I fear and doubt the most.
At first, I thought I wouldn’t have lasted long. Everything scared me, I had no point of reference, and above all, I was abandoned in my own mind, which was slowly but constantly dragging me to a very dark place.
Luckily enough we are never really alone. We’re part of a world in which it’s almost impossible not to socialize and that’s even truer for exchange students.
Since day one everyone I’ve met was fundamental. I remember my first night in the student accommodation, I was the first one to arrive in my flat, I had no internet, my room was empty and unadorned, and the only things I had were my bed sheets and a duvet that was so big compared to the one I was used to, that I wasn’t even able to put it in its cover by myself. I was panicking already. That’s when I made my first friend here, Billie. I saw her on the staircase just outside my flat and the first thing I said to her was genuinely “Can you help me with my duvet?”. She was very kind and helped me straight away. It was only the beginning of an experience in which people would have made the absolute difference.
As time passed by I kept meeting new people, people from different countries and different backgrounds, and just like my room was getting coloured after a long time of grey painted walls, my life started to get some colour back as well.
Every day I was and still am learning plenty of things from each and every person I meet along my path. I learned that life shouldn’t always be as heavy as I usually feel it, but I can also appreciate its lightness and fun, which sometimes just means going to the kitchen and seeing my flatmates dancing and singing like kids waiting for Christmas. I often see them and ask myself how they manage to be so thoughtless while I can only think about my duties and the negative sides of my life. Then I realise it’s not that they don’t have duties to think about, it’s not that life is always easy for them so they’re freer to enjoy themselves, everyone is struggling for their own different reasons, it’s just that we don’t need to be living a perfectly successful life in order to let ourselves have fun, first and foremost because no one will ever have such a life. Letting yourself enjoy the small genuine moments of pure random joy and fun is just as important as accomplishing your daily tasks. That’s why I always join my flatmates in our kitchen when I hear them laughing and playing music from my room, to distract myself from my intrusive thoughts and let myself believe there are joy and beautiful moments to be lived outside the dark sad prison that I built in my own mind.
Another major thing I’ve learned so far is the importance of asking for help, which is very much linked to the social environment we were born in as I previously mentioned. We can feel lonely, everyone does from time to time, but we’re not meant to struggle alone, we don’t have to. Instead, we can humbly ask for help without feeling ashamed of that, because in such a social world we live in no one would survive without a bit of help, without letting people assist us in times of difficulty. We need each other, and we can learn a lot from each other, and that’s not true only for exchange students, it’s true for everyone.
The people we’ve met and the people we’ll meet are a boost for our lives, they are what can keep us growing, inspired, and curious, they are what holds our minds and souls from shutting down.
They are what keeps us alive.
Written by Aurora Bellon
Edited by Yuna Kato