Growing up, the holidays always felt so magical. I was always excited to put up the tree and decorations, listen to Christmas music, make my Christmas list for Santa, and spend time with my family. I was also born right before Christmas, which felt extra special. December, in my eyes, was always the most wonderful time of the year.
Then I grew up, my parents got divorced, and the holidays no longer felt magical. Instead, they turned stressful and sad because I couldn’t spend the holidays with my whole family. This time of year can be hard for a lot of people who don’t have that perfect family dynamic, whether that is divorced parents, a crazy aunt who says things that are way out of pocket, or a grandmother who is closed-minded and unaccepting. No matter your family situation, know you are not alone, and many people get stressed about the holidays.
I am here to provide tips on how to survive the holidays for anyone who has a weird family dynamic, such as someone who has had divorced parents for 5 years and a crazy extended family!
Your Siblings Are Your Teammates
Whatever your sibling and you were fighting about, Christmas Day is the day you drop it. You have to stick together through the craziness. My older sister sadly lives in Orlando, so she isn’t always here for the holidays, which can be difficult (she will thankfully be here this year, so I have my teammate). Whenever I am at a family function with my dysfunctional family, it is always nice to have someone to stick by and hang out with. My sister and I will sometimes make it a game of “who will be the first in our family to say something that would get them canceled” and then discuss it later. When we have to make the drive between our parents’ houses, it is a chance for us to bond, listen to music, and discuss the family craziness. Long story short, if you have a sibling, you have someone to share the holidays with, which is comforting to know you are not alone, and if you don’t have a sibling, find a cousin, friend, or anyone else to share the day with so you don’t go insane.
Give Yourself a Laugh
Now I am not condoning saying something rude or starting drama within the family, because, let’s be real, we don’t need any more drama than there already is on holidays. I can’t take credit for this idea because I saw it on TikTok. If you are at a family function and want to give yourself something to laugh about, spice it up, cause a little chaos, and do one of these to give yourself a laugh!
- Wear an eyepatch, cast, etc to dinner, then make up some elaborate story of what happened, but make sure it is still believable!
- Take a fake phone call and say something totally absurd and loud enough for your family to hear.
- Plan a prank to pull on your family and have your siblings/cousins be involved.
The holidays can be hard enough as they are, so having a little fun is perfectly ok in my
opinion.
Set Boundaries
It is so important to set boundaries with your family, especially during the holidays. If you know a certain environment or topic is sensitive to you, be sure to vocalize that to your family. At the end of the day, if you don’t set your boundaries, it gives everyone permission to cross them. Setting boundaries is cool!
Do Something Just For You
The holidays are definitely a season of giving, especially as a child of divorce. I feel like I am mostly giving my time and energy to my family during the holidays. Be sure to make time for yourself to recharge. My favorite ways to recharge are to watch my favorite Christmas movies, read a holiday-themed book, or drive around and look at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music. It is so important to make time for yourself because if you don’t, you will go crazy.
Be sure to check in on your friends who might have a difficult time around the holidays as well. We dread this season because we know the stress it brings. For some of us, the holidays are not the most wonderful time of the year. If you are struggling this holiday season, know that you are not alone. Enjoy your break as much as you can, because you deserve it!