“That’s the problem with you, Loreli. You don’t think.”
“Mom, please”
“He’s just a man, Lorelai.”
“No, he’s not.”
“What are you telling me? That it was all worth it because he was the love of your life? This was the man for you?”
“I don’t know. He might have been.”
Aaaanndddd scene.
This over-dramatic, intense, and heartbreaking scene is from the 2000’s show “Gilmore Girls”. The show focuses on a single mother, Lorelai, and her daughter Rory, their friendship, and their growing relationship with Lorelai’s parents, Emily and Richard. The conversation above tugs at the heartstrings of the audience as Emily and Lorelai discuss why Lorelai broke off her engagement. This scene is over twenty years old, and somehow, the raw emotion of the scene is still tangible, and relevant today.
On social media, this scene is recirculating because it is capturing deep and raw emotions and is easily applicable to other parts of life. Girls are taking the phrase, “He’s just a man, Lorelai” and reapplying it to something in their life that feels all-consuming to them. Some of the examples that have been posted recently on Tik Tok are:
“It’s just a city, Lorelai.”
“It’s just a school, Lorelai.”
“It’s just an album, Lorelai.”
My take on this trend is holiday-centered. I’m shocked! What a clever and unique spin on this! Let’s take this trend and add a little bit of spice! You know, the holiday that people call the best day of the year? The holiday that drives up revenue and simultaneously drains your bank account? Yeah yeah, I’m sure you guessed it—Christmas! After all,
“It’s just a holiday, Lorelai.”
To which I would respond,
 “No, it’s not.”
Christmas is so much more than a holiday; it’s a feeling, it’s a perspective, a way of being. In this scene Lorelai is trying to convey how much love, time, and joy she experienced in her relationship, but also all of the she put into it. That’s how the Christmas season works, in my opinion. The more you give, the more you get. Many people spend so much time during the holiday season trying to do it all. Trust me, been there, done that. But most times, when you try to do it all (what does that even mean? How can one person “do it all”? But that’s for another time), you just end up feeling empty on the inside.
And that is exactly the opposite of what Christmas is about– giving of ourselves too much where we no longer feel like ourselves. We should try to not get caught up in the never ending cycle of giving. Remember: strong connections start from the inside out. This means that first, we must reconnect with ourselves to give us a more solid place to reach from.
When you feel weighed down by the seemingly never-ending to-do list, it can be hard to think about where you will find the Christmas spirit. Because it is more than just a holiday.
Where are you, Christmas?Â
It feels hard to find the true Christmas spirit, the one that inspires you, stirs up feelings of peace, when you are already low-battery. Yearning for that feeling of true goodness, and pure love starts with reminding yourself of your worth. So you might have to take a break and ask yourself:
- When did I do something for the sake of doing it? What can I do today for my own good? A nap? A walk outside in the park? Create something?
When you take the time to reconnect with yourself, it becomes a lot easier to find peace, joy, love—all things Christmas! This happens when you stop using your energy to achieve the impossible task of doing everything, getting everything, and being everything. Instead, you strive to have what matters most to you, instead of striving to have it all. You rediscover the people, goals, and values, that bring you the most fulfillment.
Often the holidays can be perceived as a big marketing ploy, and that all the Hallmark movies and commercials instill this false sense of perfection. When in reality, your version of the Christmas season is different. So when the cookies don’t turn out quite like you wanted them to, or the Christmas tree is leaning just a little too far to the left and it feels like the holiday stress won’t leave, remember to give yourself permission to be human and make mistakes and give yourself some extra holiday grace. It doesn’t have to be perfect! *gasp* There’s familiarity in these traditions— the ones we do for the sake of doing them instead of perfecting the recipe or creating the most beautiful Christmas tree ever.
Can it all really be that simple?
What do we have to do to earn the joy of Christmas?Â
It is through the process of slowing down, rediscovering who we are, and the transformation of our hearts that we are able to find Christmas.
It’s not finding the right answers and having the perfect Christmas, but asking the important questions.
It’s just a holiday, after all.
Or is it?Â