I have an incredibly personal attachment to The Catcher in the Rye, and have let it dominate my headspace since I was in the eighth grade.
I read it at least once a year, but can only think of one year where it was actually only once.
Everyone who knows me knows my passion for the book and have been subjected to numerous deep talks about it (some even being forced to have read it with me).
I have a collection of the book, buying it when I go on trips places and find it. Is it the same exact book? Yes. Do I still cherish every single one? Yes.
My first copy was so loved and travelled so often that the front cover had to be taped with packing tape so it would stop falling off… important to note this first copy was from the library in my school and I may or may not have forgotten to return it and then the whole global pandemic thing happened and I literally couldn’t return it after being a year past due and then somehow I just never gave it back and never got fined. Am I a criminal?
My favorite copy is from the New York Public Library and has an official stamp on the title page.
This book tells the story of 16-year-old Holden Caulfield, a somewhat manic journey throughout New York City, an existential crisis and the painful struggle between sweet youthful innocence and a crueler world brought about by aging.
To me, losing my child like innocence has been one of the most terrifying experiences in my life and one that I still fight with sometimes.
When I had first picked up the book, I was 13, had just gone through a majorly traumatic event and was beginning to spiral. I was just 13, but felt scared, unsure in every element and way older than my age.
Holden Caulfield’s character struggled with the same exact feelings.
The book is written in a messy, chaotic, definitely not always grammatically correct manner, just as though a teenager is writing in their own personal diary, or sporadically saying every single thought inside their head.
It was comforting to read a book that felt like my conversations and tendencies. I am a huge yapper. I can admit it. My mind is racing at a million miles per hour and I can never just shut up. Growing up I was often told to “get to the point”, silenced and disregarded. I can own it now, and have met beautiful people who love to yap with me about all of our hundreds of thoughts and interests and take at least five side stories to tell one main story. However, before I got to this point, it was almost as though Holden’s perspective was a reassurance.
Holden’s main premise is his hatred for the loss of innocence, a hatred based on numerous unfortunate things he has experienced and feelings he can’t understand that turn him into a pessimistic, existentially unsure and lost soul.
The book takes its name from an instance in which Holden is asked what he wants to do with his life, to which he describes a scenario where a group of kids are playing in the rye and occasionally, unintentionally, begin running towards a nearby cliff, stating that he would catch them before they could fall over the edge. He ends this description by saying “I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all.”.
Although this is a silly thing to imagine, it is beautiful in the manner that it is the best way Holden can express his desire to protect innocence, even for himself.
I too wish I could be this sort of hero, especially for myself. It is comforting to imagine myself “saving” the people I love from the same fate I felt I have experienced, since it provides for them what I wish was out there for me when I was just 13.
This isn’t an attachment to a book where I am in love with the main character or anything delusional like that. It is just a read where I felt as though I could really see myself in him.
One of Holden’s quotes says “What really knocks me out is a book that, when you’re all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn’t happen much, though.”. I love this quote, because it is EXACTLY how I feel when I read The Catcher in the Rye.
The book has done so much for me, but also is just such an incredibly enjoyable read. I’d even say it is an enjoyable EXPERIENCE, since it provokes so much deeper thought, leads to tons of decoding of it’s beautifully metaphorical aspects and even allows for you to feel and understand your own emotions.
I will never shut up about this book.
I hope I might have inspired some of you to read it. If you do read it and don’t have a magical experience like I did I am sure you can at least acknowledge it’s pretty darn good.
I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It’s nice.
– Holden Caulfield