‘Nothing in this world belongs to me, but my love is mine, all mine‘
– Mitski
It’s very easy to say that Valentine’s Day is a made-up holiday. The easy thing to do is to pretend you don’t care, because it’s superficial, stands for nothing, and is all about consumerism to simply sell more cards and chocolates. The easy thing to do is to say you don’t care about it, never have and never will, because you’re too cool to be bothered by those things you deem silly – and that’s okay! You don’t have to support it if you don’t want to. But, I argue that you’d probably have more fun if you did care about those ‘silly’ things.
Love is always there, where you cannot see it. It’s in a text from your mum or dad saying good morning even though they have to send it with 8 hours of delay, because of a time zone difference, it’s in the cup of tea your flatmate made you because you were shivering cold when you got back home, it’s in the card your friends gave you when you left for Uni. It’s in the Polaroids in your desk, and the songs that you still play because an old friend showed you a few years ago and you still remember the lyrics even though it’s been so long. Love is always present in small differing ways, but we don’t always appreciate it.
We rarely acknowledge the precious coincidence of meeting someone at the most random time, and to keep them in your life for some time as your friend or partner. We rarely say: I’m so glad I met you, or thank you for being my friend. We’re often too busy pretending not to care. Luckily enough for us, there’s a day when it’s socially acceptable to celebrate our love! While the truth is that every day can be that day, if you’re not the best at expressing your love, this is your shot!
Start thinking of small ways you can integrate into sharing your love and appreciation in daily life for those you care about. Tell your friends you love them, bake some cupcakes, give away some sweets, or write some cards. The ways of expressing your affection are endless!
If you’re the type to complain that you don’t enjoy Valentine’s Day because you’re not in a relationship, I propose the question, why do you minimize friendship? Why do we centre our thoughts of love around couples or spending time with a partner, when there is so many other forms of love around us that we ignore. We don’t have to gatekeep love, as it never runs out. You don’t need to keep your love in a sealed jar, waiting for the right person to come. The right person is probably having lunch with you right now, laughing at your jokes, walking to lectures or the library with you every day. The people you love can be as many people as you want, or as you need, because love is not a finite resource. Your love exists for as long as you exist, and you carry it with you at all times, so why not save some for yourself, and try to share more with those around you.
Don’t hide yourself behind that mask of fake coolness! Don’t be afraid of exposing yourself as a soul who loves! Don’t go to an anti-Valentine’s event just because you think you’re too cool to! Say to your friends: by the way I love you and we should spend some time together today.
When you start understanding this, you start enjoying Valentine’s Day.
Don’t spend your 14th of February being a hater. Spend it being a lover <3
xoxo