It’s very cliche to say that the first heartbreak you experience will be in your memories for a lifetime. That crushing moment when your world comes to a screeching halt right in front of you as someone that you love is leaving your life is hard to ignore. Regardless if a breakup is from a romantic partner or even a best friend, in that moment it’s hard to see the good that can come out of such a gut-wrenching situation. The first semester of freshman year left me with a few breakups, both romantic and friendship. It was hard to grasp what was happening to me, and why so many people were in and out of my life suddenly within one month. Whether you’ve had a breakup recently or not, these are three important life lessons that I’ve learned that have helped my healing process and may be helpful for others going through any kind of breakup.Â
1. Find your own happiness.
You’ve probably heard it a million times, but after someone exits your life, sometimes it can be hard not to question if it was your fault. Regardless of any kind of situation, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to feel real happiness, be with people and things that make you happy and do things that make you happy. Basing your life around people who bring you down is not living your life, it’s living theirs. No matter what, you are a person who gets to be loved, cared for and thought of. No one can ever take that away from you. All of this is said over and over again in songs, movies and even by people like your mom or your friends. I never really listened to anything like it until I was in a situation where I realized that I should have been the whole time. In order for you to be happy, you have to be listening to what makes you happy.
2. Surround yourself with people who love you for you.
When you’re losing people in your life, it’s important to think about who you really want to stay. People who love you aren’t meant to come in and out of your life. Even if you don’t see all of the people that you love every day, you know that they’re there for you; the people who have held you at your worst and who have been there to support you at your best. The ones who have sat there and listened to you rant over and over about the same things without them telling you they’ve already heard this story. These are the people that you can be yourself around, without the fear of them leaving, too. They are here to hold us up until we can do it ourselves, and continually be there unconditionally. They promote our healing until we’re strong enough to take over for ourselves.
3. Live a little more!
Healing involves doing things that are good for you, and that push you out of your comfort zone. Trying new things, something that’s slightly scary can really make you discover things you never even knew about yourself. Go on a day trip to a place you’ve never been before! Go to that party! You never know the people you could meet if you don’t go. Taking advantage of the situation you’re in is crucial. Be the main character of your own movie! Be the star of that music video! You’re in charge of your life, and it is what you make it. Have fun stories to tell! Let your newfound happiness fly and discover a new part of who you are in any way that makes you feel safe and happy.
You got this.
Losing people, no matter what part of your life, sucks. It’s an awful experience and unfortunately, something that almost everyone has to go through. While it’s important to let yourself grieve and be sad, it’s also important to heal and learn. We only have one life, and it’s important to fill it with love, laughter and happiness. Get out there, be yourself and kill it.