It took me a while to realize how much college has influenced my change in mindset through the learning, unlearning, and relearning process. I was an 18-year-old girl walking with anxiety through my college campus. I initially thought I came to college with an open mind because on the outside it looked like I was confident enough to do so. I was a young Black girl who shaved her hair completely bald with no care in the world of how others saw me…or so I thought.
Although my bald head as a young woman was seen as empowering and inspiring, there was still a dimmed light within me that made me self-conscious about who I was as a person. I limited myself so much as a freshman in college because of where I came from. (I was not ashamed of where I grew up… Unfortunately, I simply adjusted to the expectations that there is)
Yes, I took that milestone to apply to college and get accepted into my dream university. (How will I pay for this? Is it possible for me to graduate from college? Am I capable enough to get officially accepted into one of the hardest degrees anyone can pursue?)
These were the questions that tormented me during my first two years of college because people’s expectations for “us”…my family…my friends…my community was failure.
I was living with low expectations of myself because I grew into the mindset of “you are not capable enough to do this…so why try?”
Learning: One of my closest friends gave me the greatest advice, “Don’t tell yourself no, before anyone or any opportunity can tell you no.”
Unlearning: I had to break through cycles of fear, anxiety, and imposter syndrome by taking on challenges that I thought I could not see myself fit for. But, I knew this was coming from a place of fear whether it was applying for my current program, taking an entrance exam, interviews, or even taking on opportunities I never thought I seen myself doing at a younger age. I had to walk through fear, and put myself out there the best way I knew how. Just by simply, learning me all over again.
Relearning: I no longer viewed my fear as a barrier but as a challenge to overcome to get to where I needed to go as I continue to fulfill my purpose! This became my definition of empowerment because I always assured myself of what I now live by, “Keep going, you got this.”