When I first received my acceptance letter to State in January of last year, I felt a flurry of emotions. Originally, State had not been my first option, but regardless of that fact, I was still ecstatic about my acceptance. I remember the moment perfectly, I was at a Beta Convention with my high school and the email had come in while I was on the escalators in the convention center. When I saw the “Congratulations!” I swear I was about to cry at that moment. I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason, and although I did not get into my first-choice school, I knew immediately that it was because I was supposed to be at NC State.
In the months leading up to move-in in August, I just remember I was so eager to come to college. It almost felt like going back to kindergarten again. I knew that this was going to be a new environment, I would meet new people, and I was finally going to be out on my own without my parents holding my hand—it was a new beginning if you will. Finally, it was August and move-in came along. Leaving home was bittersweet, I would miss all the memories I had created in my hometown, knowing that once I left, it wouldn’t be the same when I came back, but I was ready to see what was waiting for me in Raleigh. The first couple of weeks at school were some of the best. I had met my current best friends, I was breezing by in my classes, and in general, just having the time of my life. But, all good things must come to an end. Maybe it was just me, the fact that I was alone in a new place with people who were going through the same things, but freshman year took its toll on me. They really weren’t lying when they said the first semester of freshman year is one of your hardest. It slowly creeps up on you, one minute you’re having the time of your life and then the next minute, you’re fighting for your life. On top of that, I was navigating a rocky love life (one of my doing, but everything is a learning experience). I genuinely considered dropping out a couple of times, but I knew it was the imposter syndrome speaking to me, and also, I had already invested too much time and effort to just let it all go to waste.
There’s the saying, “April showers bring May flowers,” and even though it’s talking about the months, I think that can apply to all aspects of life. It definitely did for me. After the catastrophe that was my first semester, when I came back from winter break, freshman year started looking up again. I like to think it’s because the sun began coming out again, but also, maybe it’s because of everything I had learned from first semester that helped me cultivate a better spring semester. The rain of first semester allowed me to bloom this semester and looking back on it, I’m glad I experienced those showers. I mentioned in the beginning of this letter that I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason and I think that truly applied to my freshman year. Life is just a series of experiences we go through and no matter how hard they might seem in the moment, in the long run, they truly help us grow into the people we’re supposed to be. Although freshman year started off a bit rocky, I’m sort of glad it did. I was able to learn and grow from those hard moments and use what I learned to have the perfect spring semester. So, this is my love letter to freshman year, although I struggled and made a couple of questionable choices, it ultimately allowed me to grow as a person and what most people would say, experience my first taste of adulthood.