For those unfamiliar with Sylvia Plath, she was an American poet (and Smith College alumna) famous for her novels including The Bell Jar, Ariel, and Lady Lazarus. Plath was also a poet, publishing her first poem shortly after graduating high school. Today, Plath is portrayed as the ultimate tortured artist; a misunderstood, mystical woman. During her life in the 20th century, however, a lack of adequate mental health care and an abusive relationship with her husband caused her to eventually succumb to her illnesses, committing suicide in 1963. Much of Plath’s famous work was published after her tragic death, but only grows increasingly acclaimed as the decades pass.
Recently, a passage from The Bell Jar became a popular TikTok format. The excerpt is as follows:
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
While many of the videos posted on social media focus only on the first two sentences, the most valuable part of the poem— in my opinion— is the final sentence. It is here that we see Plath’s struggles to find satisfaction in life and begin to understand why she uses fruit in this metaphor. The figs are not meant to represent sweetness, but instead allude to the impossibility of choosing only one career path, and the haste required to avoid one’s heart and mind rotting.
On TikTok, users take an image of a fig tree and create their own branch of dream occupations. Many videos include an array of professions, some encouraged by parents and society as they tend to have high salaries, like psychologists and professors, and others which appeal to the heart, such as artists and mothers. As these videos began to fill my feed, I began to reflect on my own fig tree.
As I child, I dreamed of being a singer, just like Taylor Swift. However, at age nine, my dad sat me down and gave me a bit of a reality check, explaining that we couldn’t afford private singing lessons or art school, therefore discouraging me from ever achieving pop star fame. So, I tucked this dream away and rather allowed it to blossom on my fig tree.
In middle school, I discovered my love for reading and writing. I frequented the library, begging the librarians to allow me to check out three books instead of two, wishing I could escape to the fantasy worlds I read about. I even started writing my own stories, using my school-issued computer and Google Docs account to develop characters and universes I could only dream of. However, the more I read, the more I began to fear that every good book had already been written, and that every meaningful story had already been told.
In high school, I grew a deep appreciation for psychology. Having watched my friends and family overcome their unique struggles, I wanted to help others like them. I could picture my office, overlooking some sort of river or ocean, filled with books and plants and perhaps a cat. I saw myself wearing long, flowing dresses, and big, silver jewelry as I nodded my head while my clients spoke.
However, I never really let go of my dream to write. I remember so vividly discussing college and career choices with a friend, and I couldn’t quite articulate what it was I hoped to accomplish one day. With a frustrated sigh, I said, “I just want to write, and I want people to listen and to care about what I say.”
So, it’s no surprise that once I got to college, I bounced from psychology to political science and finally to journalism. Though at 19 years old I’m still completely lost on what I want to do, I know I want to write. And, I also understand that college is when I’m supposed to pick and taste each of my figs.
In just two semesters, I’ve taken classes in art history, gender and sexuality studies, communication, neuroscience, and more. I’ve joined clubs which center on music, photography, and writing. I’ve published journalistic writing and found my place photographing local musicians and concerts.
While the original text by Plath warns readers of becoming overwhelmed by the choices and suffering from ruminating on the “what ifs,” I choose to interpret the passage as many Tik Tok users have; as a reflection of all the possibilities, rather than all the missed opportunities. As I bite into the fig of my future, I will glance up at the vast tree, knowing that each of these dreams will remain in my soul, reminding me of my passion for so many different paths in life.
Can’t get enough of HC UMass Amherst? Be sure to follow us on Instagram, listen to us on Spotify, like us on Facebook, and read our latest Tweets! Â